Generous palmstroke

a l s e m a l a l l f o r t h e s a y
e n d e n o g a t a i
e n d e n o g a t a i - d a h

i am strong in his hands
i am beyond me
on my own i'm human
and i do faults

i do confess
i feel you trickeling
down my shoulders
from above
mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm

i turn myself in
i give myself up
volunteer
you own me : i'm yours

mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm

you have to trust it
i'm eternally yours
all that i gave them
i gave to you

mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm

so needy of comfort
but too raw to be embraced
undo this privacy
and put me in my place

mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm

generous palmstroke
the hugest of hugs
undo this privacy
embrace

e m b r a c e m e
e e e e m b r a c e
e m b r a c e m e
e e e e e e m...

mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm

i am strong in his hands
I am beyond me
on my own i'm human
and i do faults


she is strong in his hands
she is beyond her
on her own she is human
and she does faults

she is strong in his hands
she is strong in his hands
she is strong in his hands
she is strong in his hands

-Bj�rk

I feel used. tired. Kinda that I should never give myself in, give myself at all. Let my soul to be open, to be taken. It is been hard time - work work work. And now that I am having few days off (I just came home from work) I feel hopeless around this chaos and suddenly left aside.

With friendships and relationships it is always the same.

I found my old diary when from the time I was in army. Before that I was alone for long time. Hard ass motherfuck with head and heart as stone. One person opened me and I started to believe that I might even once...
and he left me. But live goes on. It hurted for the first time badly. It was first time I really cried. I was happy afterwards cause I felt that I got myself more open.

Don't get me wrong. Even thought I have always been very hard person as part of relationships I have kinda floated in ones. Met people that have changed my life. More of those who have been a total disasters and very wrong ones. I have learned. But it seems that I never never never learn not to trust. Not to listen. Not to feel. Not to believe. Call this selfloathing but I wish to be wiser. For the first time I should have been wiser. Oh well...I got 8 episodes of House m.d. 3 season. I have been manical after I watched episode 2 box which I own. Now I got 8 first ep from season 3 which I watched all today before AND after work. Now I have nothing. and it is almost 5 am. I have a day off? What the fuck I am going to do! i HAVE NO WORK! ,)

Oh. I got a call from theather that have had this play for well...months. They need an actor for last 5 act. I am in. I got a script. I am screwed. It is something I have never done before. And I have major lines. Songs. Dancing parts. Opening for myself is in 1.5 months. I am planning to change my name and move to Tibet. How stupid can a woman be? Damn.

two days at Helsinki. Sat-su. Med Daddy. How fun. I can kinda hardly wait.

keskiviikko, hein�kuu 11, 2007 |  |  |