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perjantai, kes�kuu 30, 2006


Voi juma. Kyll�p� on ��ni jo nyt v�h�n v�s�ht�nyt ja oi voi hoi kun pohkeet huutaa ave mariaa, mutta nam mik� ilma. Kamalan kuuma tulossa. Ja j�nnitt�� vaikka jo toinen p�iv�. ja voi jeskamandeer, ett� on ollut maski puolella onnistumisia t�ss�. Muuten sitten keskinkertaista vattenfakkia.

Otin muuten tossa justiinsa opiskelupaikan vastaan. Elokuussa alkaa koulu. En ole nyt ihan varma teink� oikean ratkaisun.
perjantai, kes�kuu 30, 2006 |  |  | 

torstai, kes�kuu 29, 2006


T�n��n markkinoiden eka p�iv�. Tuli nukuttua aika niin ja n�in. Hermostunut. J�nnitt��. Pakki sekaisin. Siisp� aikaa tuhlataan ja tein persoonallisuus testin. Tulos - nojoo. Ehk� jotain minua.
Edellisten vastaustesi perusteella: Olet 20 % Impulsiivinen

Seuraava kaavio kuvaa vastaustesi sijoittumista
Ekstrovertti --------*------------ Introvertti 
K�yt�nn�llinen ------------*-------- Intuitiivinen 
Ajattelija ----------------*---- Tuntija 
Impulsiivinen --------*------------ Harkitsija 
(pmmp)


Vastaustesi perusteella seuraava luonnehdinta kuvaa persoonallisuuttasi Olet mielelt�si avoin, sinulla on mielikuvitusta, olet huolehtiva ja ulosp�in suuntautunut. Ihmistyyppisi nauttii el�m�n suuren n�ytelm�n seuraamisesta, ja pohtii mielell��n ihmisten motiiveja ja tarkoituksia. Kaltaisellesi ihmiselle mik��n asia el�m�ss� ei ole merkitykset�n. Siksi toisten ihmisten mielest� saatat toisinaan olla liian varuillasi, herkk� tai ep�luuloinen. Olet valloittava, karismaattinen ja nerokas supliikki-ihminen. Olet lahjakas moniosaaja, ja voitkin menesty� useilla alueilla el�m�ss�si. Sinua stressaavat ammatit, joissa on selv�t s��nn�t ja toimintaohjeet �tee t�m� t�ll� tavalla.� tai joissa vaaditaan logiikkaa, faktoja ja yksityiskohtia. Ihmistyyppisi ei jaksa keskitty� kauaa samaan asiaan, ja monet mielenkiinnon kohteet saattavatkin vahingoittaa menestyst�si pitk�j�nteisyytt� vaativassa ty�ss�. Parhaiten sinulle soveltuvat ammatit, joissa voit aloittaa projekteja ja sitten innostaa toisia saattamaan ne p��t�kseen.

Nyt suihkuun ja ajella maskiin. YEe.
torstai, kes�kuu 29, 2006 |  |  | 




Im so busy with medieval market. doing make-up from morning til afternoon, getting myself ready (make-up, costume, food, open some voice etc.) and then show for 4h, after palaver with everyone etc etc. It's exciting but days are much longer and much heavier of course than last years...but <3

tomorrow opening. Im so neurvous. SO neurvous that I could die. And im already loosing my voice.
torstai, kes�kuu 29, 2006 |  |  | 

maanantai, kes�kuu 26, 2006

Too much love will kill you

I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be
Too many bitter tears are raining down on me
I'm far away from home
And I've been facing this alone
For much too long
I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me
About growing up and what a struggle it would be
In me tangled state of mind
I've been looking back to find
Where I went wrong

Too much love will kill you
If you can't make up your mind
Torn between the lover
And the love you leave behind
You're headed for disaster
'cos you never read the signs
Too much love will kill you
Every time

I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be
And it seems like there's no way out of this for me
I used to bring you sunshine
Now all I ever do is bring you down
How would it be if you were standing in my shoes
Can't you see that it's impossible to choose
No there's no making sense of it
Every way I go I'm bound to lose

Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
It'll drain the power that's in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You're the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you
Every time

Too much love will kill you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end...
In the end.
Sob, Im listening Queen and having amazing longing towards Dad. Last time when I was there, at Xmas We listen to this song while having a drink and crying. It is great song. And I miss my guys back north. Bohoo. Goddamn, today we are having huge rehersals and Im all excited and neurvous.
maanantai, kes�kuu 26, 2006 |  |  | 




Too tired and sunburned to write anything about past few days so I'll do that later. Here is picture of me having a day off today after taking too much sun (and got my usual lovely red'ish summer skin!) at balcony of our summercottage. I went to swim to sea and all of that. Had a nice time training with my Poi's too.
Lotta looking tired
Now some serious sleep.
maanantai, kes�kuu 26, 2006 |  |  | 

torstai, kes�kuu 22, 2006

Moment between haste

What a day. Im already exausted. I've been running around all day long. My sister have lost her phone and had to gave my old one to her. Poor thang! :D
Listening Veer-Zaara soundtrack. Sigh.
tum chupa na sakogii mai.n voh raaz huu.n  (I'm the secret that you can't hide;) 
tum bhula na sakogii voh a.ndaaz huu.n  (I'm the impulse that you can't forget.) 
guu.njtaa huu.n jo dil me.n to hairaan ho kyo.n  (When I echo in your heart, why are you surprised?) 
mai.n tumhaare hii dil kii to aawaaz huu.n (I'm your heart's very voice. )
sun sako to suno dhaRkano.n kii zubaan (If you can hear it, then listen to the language of your heartbeat.) 
mai.n yahaa.n huu.n yahaa.n huu.n yahaa.n huu.n yahaa.n (I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, here.)
GOSH. Rehersals and work at H�rk�. Then home SLEEP SLEEP! Tomorrow will be search for white shirt and getting ready work for evening at kaivohuone. Then at saturday first work at Masku and then rush to work at Navigare 'til 3am. Sunday will be well spend at summer cottage I suppose. I need it badly. I mean it.
torstai, kes�kuu 22, 2006 |  |  | 

keskiviikko, kes�kuu 21, 2006


Oh my. Clouds. Not that hot. Great.
My ear is still driving me mad. I need to go to see doctor but since its not hurting, I dont want to spend any money that I DON'T HAVE! I was planning to meet doc today but I haven't got my pay check yet, so what ever. :(
the first cut won't hurt at all
the second only makes you wonder
the third will have you on your knees
you start bleeding I start screaming
Im going to spend whole midsummer working. I was suppose to go to summer cottage and so on but they called me yesterday and asked to Naantalin Kaivohuone. How can I refuce? There's no way! So...
Gaah. Slowly medieval market is starting to get a bit stressing. I have no idea about what to do in that play or should I say that now i start to get picture. Im going to do some make-up too so my days will be LONG. from 8am to 8pm. But what a heck! That hows it goes. AND MY EAR IS MAKING ME INSANE!
keskiviikko, kes�kuu 21, 2006 |  |  | 

maanantai, kes�kuu 19, 2006


I feel a bit cold or something like that since I got myself heavily sun burned yesterday even thought I DIDN'T spend that much time in straight sunshine. It seems to be hot day again. I dont have proper clothing here with me, only at my flat. Busy day ahead, Im slightly tired, dazed and confused (listening led zeppelin as brakefast) ... Goddamn I should see a doctor. I've been without my another ear for week and it's driving me mad. I can hardly hear anything! AND I need my darlin' hearing. Now everything is only humming.

T�n��n ensimm�iset pukuharkat. Pit�isi menn� kokeilemaan pukua. T�st� ker�ilen itte�ni ja l�hden. Sitten Elinalle tekeen rakennekynsi�, vaikka en jaksaisi edes haukotella. Kinunnut ikuisesti niit� niin pit�� kai ne nyt sitten tehd� vaikkakin t�ll�ist� hellep�iv�� en todellakaan haluaisi viett�� miss��n goddamn sis�ll� akryylin ja asetonin katkussa. It gets you high, dude! Joka tapauksessa, pitk� p�iv� tulossa. Hieno homma, hieno homma...Kuuntelen nettil�yt��ni FeatherMerchantsia ja sulan.

Im going high.

Totesin eilen, ett� pakko el�� p�iv� kerrallaan tai aivot sulaa. Pit�� niin paikkansa. Jotain on vain liikaa jos on sill� tasolla, ettei sit� k�sit�. Pit�� tehd� kuitenkin p��t�ksi�kin - opiskelemaan vaiko eik�? Mitenk�s sitten raha-asiat menee? Pankkilaina? Muut suunnittelmat? L�hte�kk� kahdeksi viikoksi rahatonna kitaran kanssa kiert�m��n suomea parin viikon p��st� minne Epa houkutteli, tuosta noin vaan - ilmoittaa pomo(i)lle, ett� sorry...
Onneaksi on t�it� teatterilla syksyll�. En�� Y-tunnuksella ei voi tehd� keikkaa jos l�htee opiskelemaan. Sitten pit�� ostaa jotain veitsi� ja vaatteitakin ja kirjoja ihan t�rke�t m��r�t. Vararikko.

Is� ja Virpi ei soittaneet eilen. Hmm. Outoa. Eik�s eilen ollut kuitenkin sunnuntai?

Eilen oli oikein tavataan yst�vi� p�iv�. Ensiksi Malla ilmesty turkuun, sitten Eric, sitten k�vin hakemassa Ekalta avaimet joka l�hti muutamaksi viikoksi m�kille ja illemmalla oli jamittelua m�krockissa ja ja ja...kaikkea j�nshk��.

Nyt on ment�v�.
maanantai, kes�kuu 19, 2006 |  |  | 

lauantai, kes�kuu 17, 2006


What a day.
What a week.
Life.
Gsus, Im tired after long Saaga rehersals from 10am to 4pm. Great since we played outside. It was lovely day and having slight hangover and lotsa of thoughts in head - nice to sing good music with friends around. I just love our Band. I just love everybody to death. We are best shit this world have ever got.

Ok, now shower and then to Johannas housewarming party. Seems that Eric is coming to Turku tonight. How jolly. Sadly I dont have a penny, I'de love to go for a pint with him.

last nights picnic with medieval market people was ... great. Warm night, lotsa of food and stuff. Bottle of wine. After party at baila baila where we danced and sang karaoke. Heh.

Life is doing strange things around me now. Im confused. :)
lauantai, kes�kuu 17, 2006 |  |  | 

perjantai, kes�kuu 16, 2006


I just had time of my life at Tallin at Metallica's gig. Thanks to my mate J�rvenp�� for whole idea of even go there. Im so happy. :) Great trip anyway and I wasn't drunk at all! Quite amazing to go to Tallin and end up being totally sober. Heh. Anyway, I didn't want to ruin whole experience with alcohol.

I've been having lots of work and stuff. Haste haste haste.

tonite we're having picnic with medieval folks. Im so happy about it that I got it free! My boss tried to put me to work but end of it all she got it free to me. Im so happy.

Malla will be here at sunday, maybe! Whee. IM SO HAPPY! :)
Heh I don't have any plans for Midsummer. Juhannus. Pl�eh. Im taking care of Eka's cats and Somebody. Saturday night at work. Quite a jussi to be igen. Well, last Juhannus I spend at weatherstation, 5 days alone. Yippee. Im sure this will be _a lot_ different. Thought of course I'de love some social experiences, sitting front of the fire at the beatch, going sauna, being with my family, spend whole shit at north but what can you do. I miss home at summer so much that it really hurts.

I saw a dream that I was working at Tikkakoski and it felt so real that I was so amazed when I woke up. WTF!

I've enjoyed few great bollywood movies with Eka lately. ASOKA.
ASOKA

I just love this movie. Visually it is amazing and music is great. I want to see this again so bad. Kareena Kapoor's first movie (I saw) that didn't irritate me to death. She fitted to her role very well.

VEER-ZAAR

I almost killed myself because this was at Rakkautta & Anarkiaa film festival last autumn and I didn't got a change to go and see it. I bought a soundtrack some while ago and loved it. After seeing movie yesterday music opened itself to me totally and Im grazy about it. Great soundtrack. Great movie. Great story. I love Preity Zinta so much, she's so amazing on the screen. Nothing if you compair her to Kajol but anyway...This is dramatic love story of Palestinian girl and Indian boy. It's heart brakeing, kinda political in a way and touching. I wish I could believe in love that way, and I surely someway do.

Bollywood musicals. IS there ANYTHING more in life? I quess not. If you ever feel a slight of gloominess inside just watch first musical part of ANY bollywood movie and life seems a much smileable. Im sure Eka and Senni can agree with me about this huh?

Ok, About Veer-Zaara again...Shah Rukh in airforce uniform or acting a helicopter pilot GODDAMN that's HOT! *drool* Tehehee...Ok, I need to calm down here. Omm.
perjantai, kes�kuu 16, 2006 |  |  | 

maanantai, kes�kuu 12, 2006

Anteeksi. <3


All these accidents,
That happen,
Follow the dot,
Coincidence,
Makes sense,
Only with you,
You don�t have to speak,
I feel.

Emotional landscapes,
They puzzle me,
Then the riddle gets solved,
And you push me up to this

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
Is where I want to be.

All that no-one sees,
You see,
What�s inside of me,
Every nerve that hurts,
You heal,
Deep inside of me, oo-oohh,
You don�t have to speak,
I feel.

Emotional landscapes,
They puzzle me - confuse,
Then the riddle gets solved,
And you push me up to this

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
Is where I want to be.

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,

Emotional landscapes,
They puzzle me,
Then the riddle gets solved,
And you push me up to this

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
Is where I want to be.

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
State of, state of,
How beautiful,
Emergency,
Is where I want to be.

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be,
State of emergency,
Is where I want to be.

State of emergency,
How beautiful to be.
maanantai, kes�kuu 12, 2006 |  |  | 

sunnuntai, kes�kuu 11, 2006


Vittu kun v�sk�. tulin just kotia. SIlm�t meinas painut kii ihan ite�st�n. Luoja pitk� ilta oli ja yksin�inen. kiva paikka, tein ison mokan, h�vett��, saan haukut pomolta, mutta onneksi oli kerrankin tuuria, vituttaa silti kun mokasin kun vituttaa et saan hakut pomolta mut oli kiva ilta ja vituttaa olla NIIN SAAMARIN K�SI. ��. Ja se, ett� tunnen itseni megatsu idiootiksi. Vaikk aoli kiva ilta, kiva mesta, ihanaa possea (sitten kun sit� tuli) ja kaikki ongelmat voitettiin vaikka mik��n ei ollut 100% t�ydellist�. Oli vaan megatsu idiootti olo ja teki mieli hankkia loonie toons siirrett�v� musta aukko / reik� johon vajota ja kadota. Prkl ett� voikin joku olla niin saamarin k�s ku m�.
sunnuntai, kes�kuu 11, 2006 |  |  | 

lauantai, kes�kuu 10, 2006

L��h�t�n ja l�k�hdyn, eh-he-he-he.

Im going to Vampula tonite. Exciting kinda, 1800 pupil in whole place... Im so tired. I slept like 3h last night, woke up at the morning and been having troubles with my car since last night. I had work last night til 1am but had to stay with my car til forever cause motor was all dead. Now its working thought. Its windy outside. My eyes feel blurry. Thank god for cafeine pills. I need to leave at 7pm. Little stress cause of tiredness. Im also worried cause I have all these stuff with me and I dont know will I manage with 'em. Sigh. Also Im worried cause I need to drive there and back, my car is kinda unrealible AND it takes over hour there. And back. So I'll be home before 5 am.
lauantai, kes�kuu 10, 2006 |  |  | 

perjantai, kes�kuu 09, 2006

Wednesday roadtrip to S�kyl�

Some silly pics. Eka has the best ones so I'll have 'em later on...
Me posing at Eka's car...Wanna go for a ride, baby?
 Babe, wanna ride?

Army girlie!
 ASENTO!

Did you grab my ass?
WHATAA-aah?

Found great road name and took lotsa funny picture.
 SIVARI!?

Arrrr, let's have a bite! Aye!
hungry grazy girls!

I look like an over fed hamster.
perjantai, kes�kuu 09, 2006 |  |  | 



The Ubiquitous Mr Lovegrove

I thought that you knew it all
Well you've seen it ten times before.
I thought that you had it down
With both your feet on the ground.
I love slow...slow but deep.
Feigned affections wash over me.
Dream on my dear
And renounce temporal obligations.
Dream on my dear
It's a sleep from which you may not awaken.

You build me up then you knock me down.
You play the fool while I play the clown.
We keep time to the beat of an old slave drum.
You raise my hopes then you raise the odds
You tell me that I dream too much
Now I'm serving time in disillusionment.

I don't believe you anymore...I don't believe you.

I thought that I knew it all
I'd seen all the signs before.
I thought that you were the one
In darkness my heart was won.

You build me up then you knock me down.
You play the fool while I play the clown.
We keep time to the beat of an old slave drum.
You raise my hopes then you raise the odds
You tell me that I dream too much
Now I'm serving time in a domestic graveyard.

I don't believe you anymore...I don't believe you.

Never let it be said I was untrue
I never found a home inside of you.
Never let it be said I was untrue
I gave you all my time. 
Sigh. This Dead can Dance's song is so what I feel right now. Im a bit tipsy, having a pint at home, sitting without hurry, watching sky and thinking.
Went to Forte today at the noon to meet das boss. Im SO scared about the work. Its been ages since I really worked at the nightclub behind the bar and...Im scared that I wont make it. I've forgot everything. and I mean it. Eek.

Haste will be the word for weekend. Every night at work and mornings at rehersals. At saturday I have to drive 80km there and back and since some bastard stole my meters Im so sure of meeting some happy cops with happy speedtickets. Or then I just fall asleep while driving. Ha.

Met Kirsi today after Forte. We had a cup of coffee and lotsa fun. I bought pink water pistol which I luv to death. Also found a perfect pair of boots which I'm so buying someday when I can afford of them. Even my mum thinked that those are so Lotta. Golden boots. Hmm. <3

Yesterday with Eka's great company we took a roadtrip to S�kyl�. I put a fortune to Milpro but I DONT CARE. Im so going there next month too to by boots. I just luv to drive somewhere. I just love roadtrips with auto stereos with cd player. I just love old gas statios with 70's decoration and grill food. I just love to see something, stop somewhere and check it out closer while taking some silly photos. I just love ideas that are made to come true.
perjantai, kes�kuu 09, 2006 |  |  | 

keskiviikko, kes�kuu 07, 2006

Lapsuuteni maisemissa

Eilen Ekan kanssa katsottiin hyv� leffa ja l�hdettiin riihikalliolle. Vanhojen "lapsuus"aikojen maisemiin. Eka paikka johon muutettiin turussa oli n�ttinummen silloin uusi auroorankadun area. No, nyt levinnyt koko shitti siell� k�sist� ja sit� kirosimme mutta l�ysimme kivoja paikkoja ja tietysti luonnonsuojelu alue etc tallela joten kalliooni ei ole kajottu lainkaan. Alue jossa katsottu niin monet y�t t�hti�, monet auringon nousut ja laskut sek� kirjoitettu niin monet biisit sek� runot. Meni h�r�iless�...
 4AM

I rule!
 Queen of fucking everything

Jag och my lovely Tercel Deluxe <3
 Me and my tercel deluxe

Katsottiin auringon nousu...
 Watching sunrise

Meitsi ja puu joka esiintyy niin monessa t�htikuvassani vuosina < 1997.
 Hug for old friend

Sitten palasimme autolleni...Odottelen poliiseja ja savuan.
 what is wrong with people!!
Muitakin mahtavia kuvia on. Tulossa later on.

Huomenna Ekan kanssa roadtrip from 9am to S�kyl�. <3
No, menin vasta sitten ennen 9am nukkumaan kun ahdisti, vitutti ja kirotutti ja itketti ja v�� yhyy myhyy. P�iv� meni nukkuessa. Uusi lasi ja takavalo l�ytyi nousiaisista. Is�puoleni Pentti laittoi auton mahti kuntoon. Sain puhelun ty�kaverilta ja pyysi tekeen keikan puolesta, olin niin masentunut tapahtuneen vuoksi silloin, ett� totesin parhaakseni menn� t�ihin. Oisin varmaan vet�nyt muuten harmikalsarik�nnit kotikotona. Yhdeks�n maissa kun hypp�sin autoon se oli niin hienossa kunnossa, ett� tuli itku. Oli uusi kirkas ikkuna, lasinsirut oli kaikki pois, oli takavalo priima ja lommokin hakattu mallilleen maalattu. Oli imuroitu ja tuhkis tyhjennetty. Tyynyt kauniisti pepun alla m�yhittyn�. Voila. V�lill� itte�ni vituttaa kuinka hieno Is�puoli mulla on ja kuinka ��rett�m�n kiitt�m�t�n kusip�� �p�r� varmaan olen. Kyll� m� sit� kiitin mutta autossa istuessani tuli olo, ett� mun vaivainen kiitos ei ole edes sen arvoista. <3
T�iss� oli hulina. Kiireinen ilta ja agressiivisia ihmisi� mutta my�s ihan vakkareita ja mukavaa v�ke�kin. Ite olin aika down mutta ennen alotusta soitti Malla ja piristi helvetisti. Huomenna pittee - tai t�n��n my�hemmin - turista lis�� vaikkapa paluumatkalta s�kyl�st�. My�s hienoja iskuyrityksi� sain osakseni. Solttupoika: Hei, pid� tauko ja tuu juttelemaan mun kanssa.
Min�: Ei mulla ole taukoja.
Solttupoika: No...mm...onko sulla puhelinnumeroa?
Min�: On. Voitte poistua.
Solttupoika: *sanaton h�mmentynyt paikalta vet�ytyminen*
Touche! Nyt hirve� n�lk� ja v�sy. Jotain murkinaa vatsaan ja unta. Hirve� vihaisuus, harmi ja alakuloisuus alkaa hiljalleen v�isty�. Ei sit� silti tajua kuinka joku paskiainen tosta vaan menee ja tuhoaa toisten omaisuutta. Ylim��r�inen vaiva perheelle, rahakustannukset ja er��nlainen turvattomuuden tunne joka koko nujakasta tuli oli aika rectumista. Tuntu todella v��r�lt� ja ep�reilulta. Kun l�hdin t�ist� n�in sieluni silmin kuinka taas joku olisi paiskonut jotain auton ikkunoista l�pi. Kylm� hiki otsalla hipsin autolle ja onnekseni n�in, ettei mit��n oltu rikottu. N�en my�s alati unta siit�, kuinka joku asiakas ly� muhun ruuvimeisselin.
T�n��n koin aika hassun her�tyksen - en ole koskaan kuunnellut humppakappaleiden sanoituksia ja sattui t�iss� soimaan levylt� Y�linnun kipale Liian suuri city. Sill� m� en saa l�yd� niit� sanoja mist��n t�h�n h�t��n voin vaikka lis�ill� later on. Ne jotka ko. kappaleen tiet��, niin ehk� saavat pointistani kiinni. Y�lintu on muuten oikeasti ihan hyv� live orkesteri. On pakko my�nt��, ett� syr�mmess�ni on suuri aukko suomalaiselle huNppa musiikille aka (rautalanka)iskelm�lle. Randelin Kake on ehdoton kuningas lajissaan. Voih. Bless.
keskiviikko, kes�kuu 07, 2006 |  |  | 

tiistai, kes�kuu 06, 2006

6.6.06 = 666

I haven't even got myself sleep yet. I had wonderful day with visiting my flat = crap. then nicey rehersals and drove to Eka's where we ate goodies, drank coffee, watched Jurassic Park <3 and one of my new favorites bollywood movies ASOKA! Amazing one. Then it was late and we decided to take a little road trip to my childhood suburb where is this place where I've spend ages just watching stars...and so on. We took silly pictures, enjoyed being silly and nature around us and left my car for fucking half an hour -> came back -> glass broken, one CHEAP counter from the desk and nothing more...My hands are having little paper cuts from the glass. Funny how I walked towards my luvly car and said to Eka: "strange, haha, it seems like whole window is open..." and then closer look.
R�j�hti.
HOW IN EARTH PEOPLE CAN BE SO FUCKED UP. MY CAR! THERE ARE HOUSES 10M AWAY AND NOTHING TO STEAL FROM MY CAR. WE DIDN'T SEE ANYONE THERE WHILE WHERE WHERE NEAR AND 30MIN AT WOODS (UNDER 1KM AWAY) AND SOME FUCKED UP PEOPLE COMES AROUND AND PIMP MY RIDE. GLADLY POLICES WHERE NICE. BUT HOW IN EARTH IM GOING TO GET A NEW GLASS TO OLD TOYOTA TERCEL 1982? EVEN POLICES WHERE "laughing" THAT WELL YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF PROJECT TO FIND EXTRA PIECE OF GLASS TO THAT OL' CAR. HOW IN EARTH IM GOING TO GO TO WORK? WHERE IN EARTH IM GOING TO PUT THAT CAR, SOMEONE CAN JUST OPEN THE DOOR AND STEAL EVERYTHING SINCE I DONT HAVE A GLASS IN THE WINDOW! OPEN VIEW, SUITABLE FOR DRIVE-IN! IM SO TIRED, ANGRY, SAD, DEPRESSED ABOUT THIS UNFORTUNATE SHIT THAT KEEPS POURING ON ME DAY AFTER DAY THAT
AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargHHH!
How in earth im going to go to work? I cannot drive 100km to somewhere with whole PA system in it WITHOUT window! I dont afford this crap. IM BROKE anyway! I don't have time for this. Energy.

:�(

But even this manical hysterical shite that luvs to hang around me - I had great time at Riihikallio. Old woods that once where my only friends...And Asoka...what a movie. Jurassic Park, o'how I once wanted SO badly to be paleontologist.

I just _don�t_ understand why to smash innocent cars. And old cars. You can get that counter from Motonet with less than 20e. Everything else in the car is fine. Nothing took, or smashed. Only glass. :/

I AM SO FUCKING MAD ABOUT THIS. IM SO TIRED. I need sleep. :( I go to sleep. :(
:((
tiistai, kes�kuu 06, 2006 |  |  | 

maanantai, kes�kuu 05, 2006


Im laughing cause of listening over and over again this Croatia's Eurovision song contest song from Severina "moja stikla". It is so jolly. Happy.
Africa paprika!
LOL. Amazing. Im in good mood, I should be singing but all I do is drinking coffee and reading sport magazines. Shiiiite. Ok, now its on again, for 20th time of something and Im laughing...download it if you wan't to stay forever young. Laughing brings more years, right?
maanantai, kes�kuu 05, 2006 |  |  | 

sunnuntai, kes�kuu 04, 2006

Foggy Dew

I slept til 4pm again. Went to sleep 7am since there was amazing fog, birds singing and sun rising...I feel lazy, relaxed. Seems like I had night without nightmares and light nap kind of sleeping first time in ages. My muscles hurts but I feel better. I had horrible headache yesterday cause this goddamn neck / back ...

 at balcony

I should go to my flat check it out, pick some movies and rehersal some songs today but I feel like ... nothing. I've been so lazy for few days. Yesterday I didn't even cook cause I felt so lazy. I've been thinking nothing (which is a lie, but I want to believe so myself!) and doing nothing but get myself ready for work, go and work, return home and stay up til I cannot stay awake no more.
I need to take my Lotta-Pupu here. I want something to hold on while sleeping.

 Fog at early morning 3-4am

Pilvet�n taivas. Muutama pikku cumulus tuolla jossain. Lentokone, pieni sellainen (taitaa olla niiden hypp��jien) tekee nousuaan. Vatsassa kuristaa aina tuollainen n�ky. OIJOI nyt toinen mennee matalalta ihan talon yli! katolla ollessa ois voinut koskettaa! MIT� ihmett�...oli moottoripurjemik�lielentokone. *SIGH*
Jestas sit� kaipaa kuitenkin aika lailla sit� rutiinia ja hommoo mit� intiss� touhuili. Eilen t�iss� vajosin syv�lle muisteloihin kun yht�-�kki� alkoi saapumaan viestej� muutamalta vanhalta alaiselta 1. joukkueesta ja lentos�� taistelutoverilta...Tuli hjuva mieli.
T�iss� oli aivan j�rjet�n, J�RJET�N hulina. Jotenkin silti meni pitk�st� aikaa ihan t�rke�n hyvin koko ilta. Kaikki meni minuutilleen, ei ollut laite ongelmia, soitin hyv�� musaa ja jengi oli ihan poltteessa. Sain ruusunkin. Hellyytt�v��.
Kotiin tullessa nousi mielet�n sumu. Ihanaa. Istuin parvekkeella ja ihmettelin varmaan tunnin. Kaunista, niin kaunista.
Mua ihmetytt�� t�ss� maailmassa ihmiset jotka pit�� toisia itsest��n selvyyten� ja kertak�ytt� kamana. Olen taas jokseenkin v�synyt olemaan min�. Harmittaa, ett� on v�lill� niin luottavainen ja avoin (mit� _todella_ harvoin oikeastaan olen.) sitten tekee itsest��n t�yden idiootin. H�vett��.

 FOG fogety fog !
Pilvet on jotain niin kaunista. Pit�� jossain vaiheessa kaivaa ls��:n pilvioppi ja muistella v�h�n taivasta, jotta taidot ei ruostu. Tied� vaikka sit� kyll�styis totaallisesti t�h�n heittopussina oloon ja l�htisi jollekkin kaukaiselle s��asemalle s��teknikoksi nauttimaan askeettisuudesta ja erakoitumisesta.

Say HI!
I've been watching over this cloud which I see front of me from the window...I just love how fast it arrived and now in 5 minutes it's almost gone, even thought it have stayed in same spot...lovely. I just _love_ sky.
sunnuntai, kes�kuu 04, 2006 |  |  | 

lauantai, kes�kuu 03, 2006

Oh rainy day

It's been time since I wrote here. Lotsa happend, kinda. Nothing much, really. Im so tired and lazy that hurts. I don't want to move my ass at all, but what can you do - work at navigare 10pm ->
But I have five more hours to lazy around. Having a cup of coffee and it's dark around. Rainy grey day outside.

Last time I really wrote here I was babling about trying to get my tuesday night free for spring fest. I got a phonecall from my boss at 14.30 when we where leaving at 15! So, I got my free night with my work mates. It was night relaxing evening at Ruissalo. I got to know my work mates, had nice conversations, lotsa good food and some beers. Sun started to shine and everything was jolly and nice. People where so happy and I just loved to be around them. Our bus arrived after eight and we got back to city where almost all of us went to Lulu's terrace. Some people that didn't come to ruissalo came there. Suddenly �bo svenska teater's crew came there too and whole terrace was full of different teater people. Fun. I talked with Lasse for hours about swedish, finnish jargons and how danish is one of the most attractive languages in the world. I even found myself speaking swedish. Ha. But mostly it was like Lasse talked in swedish and I reply in finnish. Fun. 8) I also had long blues conversation with my boss. Anyway, later on people started to anxious about leaving somewhere else. Soon I found myself at cab going towards some Karaoke bar. I don't know WHERE in the world everyone got amazing urge to sing karaoke that night. I can tell - I didn't feel like it at all, but fun, fun it was. Everyone else seems to be so drunk and I was just tipsy and tired. I didn't even bought more than two pints at bar. We had so much fun, or I did. At the moment when I had to listen silly messed up relationship shit around me and everyone was so drunk that they couln't hardly walk and no-one couln't arrange more parties around - I decided that I'll leave. Me and Elina hit the road, I pushed her inside first cab I found and called to my sister. I woke her up to inform that she have to have a nightly snack with me. We ate so well at Semi burger. HUGE hamburgers and fries. Delicious! It was raining and so beautiful. I got a headache and as soon we got "home" (I spend night at Senni's) I took a pile of pills and went to sleep. Next day went slowly with happy hangover, meeting Minna (she came to Turku cause of test in university. I've known this girl since she was 3 and I was 6. She lived next to us at Sukeva. We've been friends ever since.) and having wild medieval market rehersals. I didn't sleep at all at the night. I was so goddamn neurvous about audition which where waiting me at thursday afternoon. I woke up quite early after two hours of nightmarish dreams and sang whole day. I went to Epa's to get some notes and there was 3 people from Hospitality club! Great. We tried to sing my H�ndel one more time but it went badly. So Epa just helped me open my voice. With amazing P-A-N-I-C I drove to Music institute. I was so neurvous that I couln't get myself drive to correct ways - I park my car like 5 blocks away from there. Silly.
Audition itself went quite...Umm...I cannot recall that much of it. Blurry. I went inside, shaked everyone's hand and introduced myself, sang songs and... Lady: "Where have you took singing lessons before?"
Me: "Umm...Nowhere. But I've sing all my life."
Lady: "Nowhere? And you come here with H�ndel's Aria? Like you couln't found any easier song?"
(you can download *.ogg mediafile and play it in Winamp to listen it. Horrible version thought, even I sang it better! ;))
Me: "Umm..."
They where kinda amazed and I was amazed that they where amazed and it went well and it went so well. I mean -> Parts that where so hard to sing that I never managed to get 'em thru I just sang them like nothing. Suddenly it was so easy and light. I felt like I was upon somewhere out from myself and not in this world anymore. I was so overwhelmed of it that when I got out I bursted into tears. After it I had shitty rehersals and went to pack my kitchen and found out that our apartment was in chaos. I cannot even think how it is now since they went to do the kitchen yesterday. Sigh. I'll go and check it out tomorrow. My toilet at the yard
First view when I came in
My luvly toilet
(Took pics with my mobilephone)
After I almost got myself killed with astmatic thang by dust that is everywhere cause of repairs I drove to Eka's to have nightly cup of tea. And lil' present. And fun time. <3
Yesterday I woke up at 6am (after 2 h of sleep, AGAIN!) and drove to city central at Johanna (my ex-roommate) for some make-up since she had graduation. Before nine I drove to my sister's to dye/shepe her eyebrows. It was quite expensive since I got parking ticket from it. Damn I was angry! And so tired. Drove to Maria's to shape/color her eyebrows too. She has nice apartment and she have had a day in Ikea - we spend hours to thinking where to put everything. I also helped with bookshelfs. I was ready to sleep and deathtired and decided to leave after two pm. I spend 1.5h at parking lot at phoneconversation. Then rushed to homehome and had a 2.5h nap. It took forever to get awake even thought all my relatives came around. We had a little fest because of my last weeks graduation. I was pissed about my parking penalty ticket but it was so nice to have everyone around. <3 Love my family SO much. <3
I rushed to work and started at 21.00 straightly. I was at work 20.57 and bartenders had already called to my boss cause they wheren't sure who is coming. Evening went finely with few huge bar fights, but whan can you do...drunken people are mad from time to time.

ONNEA PONNEA KAIKKI YLIOPPILAAT!! (Minna ja Kahis!)
Aim praud of juu!
lauantai, kes�kuu 03, 2006 |  |  | 




Olet yliv�synyt silloin kuin... ...naurat niin, ett� piilarit tippuu Rutto-ryhm�n sketseille. Etenkin Virolaisvideo ripiittin� ja r�k�tyst�.
...et saa unta kun olet niin v�synbyt. Ihan kun olis K�n�ss�.
...Ruttoryhm�n virolaisvideo on katsottu 10< kertaa ja aina vain naurattaa.
...Ja sitten alkaa nauramaan digimonien dubbauksia...
lauantai, kes�kuu 03, 2006 |  |  | 

torstai, kes�kuu 01, 2006


Im having that singing thang today at 18.00 and Im trying to sing this song that Im going to perform and it feels like Im going to pass out in any minute. ALl night long I just sang it in my head and didn't really sleep well. Im so IM SO so neurvous. It seems that all the edge and power of my voice just disappeard and Im having this tiny airy pop voice and I cannot breath well enought anymore. Im singing O thou that tellest good tidings to Zionat the moment that it hurts to sing and I cannot GET MYSELF RELAX! Aaaargh. FUCK.
torstai, kes�kuu 01, 2006 |  |  | 


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