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torstai, tammikuu 27, 2005
Anyway. At sotilaskoti. At last. We have waiting to get here for ages ... this week have been a hasteful one and Im death tired (and ill.) BUT if Im alive in next week and ready to hit the road to home -> Im winner. I've been so close to total crash that WHOAH. Im ill but I dont want to go to see doctor cause Im afraid to lose my weekend holidays. Sigh. Anyway, sms, emails, snailmail -> HERE. I need some cheer up. torstai, tammikuu 27, 2005 | | | maanantai, tammikuu 24, 2005
Yeah, I have already got lotsa messages with "Take some fotos NOW!" and such ... here we go. lauantai, tammikuu 22, 2005
Its good to be home. After two weeks of going around without NO TIME FOR yourself, all the time social hyper activity and lotsa action around da clock. I've lots a lots of weigh. I can tell that while wearing my own clothes. Still, I have something new in me, army Lotta haha. Gladly I left her at Tikkakoski and Im truly enjoying my time here. Should eat something, get something done too. Then some hardcore shopping at the city, meeting my cat, at night some partying (but not much, Im soo tiiiireeed and broke.) then sleep sleep and meeting friends. All I want to do is sit at home, listen music, drink coffee, watch telly and sleep. But of course, I need to give a moment for ppl around me. Anyway -> It was so fun last night when I was at train on my way home ... At Tampere most of the Airforce ppl jumped off and many other military guys hopped in. "Wow, did you see her, she was a pilot!" - First thing ppl always things when they see blue signs on your military clothing which is airforce color, they think that you have to be a pilot. Quite hilarious. Anyway... Im too tired to think anything, I need some brakefast now, even thought I have been awake since 9am. Laters. lauantai, tammikuu 22, 2005 | | |
sunnuntai, tammikuu 16, 2005
Moro. Kirjoitin �sken pitk�n jutun joka yht�-�kki� katosi. No hyvin menee. PERKELE. AARGH. No joo. Ens pe lomalle. Sitten kirjoitan ja kerron liss��. Vittu et ottaa p��h�n kun katos koko juttu. Oli eilen eka marssi. M�n hyvin. terve. sunnuntai, tammikuu 16, 2005 | | | maanantai, tammikuu 10, 2005
I got some sleep after putting some Portishead "Dummy" repeatly playing at my stereos. thought I feel like I have never even closed my eyes. Now I should run to shower. Listening LOUD Audioslave and cleaning around. Drinking coffee and feeling terrible, just terrible. Im about to throw up in any second. you gave me life now show me how to live...Ok, gotta run. Puss och Kram. maanantai, tammikuu 10, 2005 | | |
Im trembling and my tummy aches. Gsus, Im nervous ... my head is achy, I feel so tired that I could sleep forever but no...Oh fuck, what Im doing! ARGH. Im taking train 9.05am. I will be there after 1pm. Or so. ARGH. If there is a god, let me sleep for a moment. I want to sleep. Sleep!! sunnuntai, tammikuu 09, 2005
We are having most horrible storm in ages. Waves are so high that boats are not moving anywhere, some roads are blocked cause water is so high and so on...Nice one. Its extremely windy, so I have been staying inside all day watching telly. Some friends are coming over soonish, I should be start to pack and clean around but Im tiiireeed and lazy. Had brilliant night with friends. Me and Lehtinen started to fool around with sniffer drinks and I should have only take one, but no - when you learn something new, you have to do it twice! I was very very drunk, but its been ages since I have been happydrunklytipsy. I had time of my life! Met old work friends and so on. Its been ages since we where all together, we spend whole summer partying and playing football and havent seen my homies together since Worldcup hockey game studio sessions at autumn...Sigh, Anyway, got lotsa good advice for next year. I just love my friends. lauantai, tammikuu 08, 2005
Ah. At home. Had some shopping today, just something little...Also I've been paying major amounts of bills and loans away, so now Im broke, but who needs money at army anyway - First thing is that I want to feel light, and now I truly feel so. Woah. Wonderful. Tired too, didnt really slept AGAIN at night. I went to meet friends at Whiskey bar and drank one pint of beer there...oh finnish beer how tasty it was after awhile. Yummy. Then we went to Forte nightclub, which is closing in matter of weeks and have been the place to go (nowadays its shitty hole but you gotta love it, cause it brings memories of times when everything was fine, there was always money for having party and always energy to dance!) for years and now its selling all the drinks away very cheap. I went there and had one gin&tonic. I was tired but suddenly there was some rhythm on and I had to go to dance. After turkish pop song DJ played Eurovision Songcontest Winner Ruslana's "Wild dance" and well...when ever I hear that (and that fellow in Forte is only one who ever plays it, cause he's eurovision fan) I go MAD! I danced like never before. Very fun. And then I left home. That's about it. Nothing earth moving. It was lovely to see friends again, I felt so happy to be around 'em again. Tomorrow my Mum and Hilkka is coming here and Im going read my travel journal to them and so on. Then I meet some friends and we go to Senni's to meet Somebody and celebrate my going to army and Eeva-Kaisa's coming back home. Tomorrow I have invited some friends over for some chilling and trying to get me not so hyped about going... perjantai, tammikuu 07, 2005
Uh, Survived from funerals. I was highly pissed off when we went to church. I tried to avoid all the eye contacts with everyone but of course my Mum and others came to hug me cause they where quite happy (and released) about the fact that I was there, cause I havent got working phone etc in ages, and I was sick and at world alone haha. Anyway, Albinoni Adagio at start get me crash for minutes but I got myself together and went to put my (and my sister too) gerberas on the chest. I read the card and hold myself finely together. Then we went to sing and did to songs. Went quite well, even thought I was almost passing out in any minute. Quite blurrish for me was this even, some food afterwards, priest with funny hair, me laughing in "dirty meanings" while singing verses which made others bursting cry. Well, my family members saw my reaction and started to laugh too cause everyone where so tired at that point. Haha, I hate funerals.
Got back at night after midnight. What a adventure again! We went to Bath bus station at 9.40 to ask tickets for bus, and they told it was full and with next one Im not going to make it. WHATTAAH. Had to take highly expensive train which only took for 1.3h to get to London, where I went around (lost once) with metro and took wrong train but at its last stop I hopped in Standsted train, and well, here I am. Alive and kicking, drinking finnish coffee and trying to get myself to shower and thent to funerals. I feel ok, just tired. I havent been sleeping in last 3 nights at all. I have too much stuff in my head which keeps me up and even thought Im death tired and all I need is deep sleep, I cannot get my eyes closet and I just roll around the bed. Yesterday was great to breath finnish sparking air when I got out from airport. It felt good. -5 degrees, lotsa snow and it wasnt moist like I've use to for weeks!! Very nice. Then it took forever for me to get home cause roads are so ice, I even live next to bus station...but with racksack I just kept slowly walking half ice skating my way back to my apartment. And when I got home...it felt so strange. So empty and so not me. Well, later on when I got some food and computer open and myself to bed, it felt home again, but it still feels a bit strange. But now - I need to rush to shower. perjantai, tammikuu 07, 2005 | | | torstai, tammikuu 06, 2005
IM TIRED, and having horrible flu now. We went to Doolallies to acoustic folk night at Bath. It was great, some very terrific singer/songwriter musicians over there. We sang 3 songs. I started to feel very bad there, sore throath and headache started to get over me. Place itself was great, gotta loved it. Anyway, this last day have been ok, I went to shopping (alone) for few hours at Throwbridge (nearest village or little town). Found one book to Senni, party pants for myself. Nothing really. Went to near pub to have coffee and wait for Eeva who picked me up. Later we had dinner with her whole family around here, I got to see Maddie at last! What a great folks they are, I have to say. George gave me book he have already readen, from author Haruki Murakami, WHICH I LOVE TO DEATH...this one is one that I havent read and I spend all day at book store just trying to find that excatly book. He came it to me, so I have something to read tomorrow. Im quite sad, we didnt spend time together at all with Eeva, and it was my last night and we possibly dont get a change to see in a year if she dont get any gigs around here. Yay, fucking yay. Then we went to Bath. Now we are here and I have to wake up early. My bus to Standsted airport leaves at 9.45. It will be 5h 5mins in bus (I will change bus in Heatrow airport, where I have to wait for 40mins. Shite!), Then I go to airport to standsted. At the moment I arrive my check inn have just started and I will get rid of all the stuff and go around for few hours, killing time and so on. Then 3.5h of sitting in the airplane to Tampere and then two hours in bus to Turku from airport there. I will be at Turku about in midnight (2am local English time) ... SO. ITS RUBBISH! keskiviikko, tammikuu 05, 2005
Its makes me neurvous. Just to think that, oh well, I will have to take a bus to standsted (I will change in London or somewhere else, probably somewhere else, cause I dont want to be lost in London!) airport and then try to figure out my way to my flight there. Hehe, what a noise around here, Eeva is playing some boardgame with Taran, 8 year old kid that Eeva have to look after. There football on telly and its loud! I should get myself wake, but it seems to be quite and efford. My energy levels are somewhere very down cause yesterday I lost a huge amounts of blood. Otherwise lastday was just nice and dandy...I woke up and soon found myself playing playstation with Taran and soon Eeva hurried me to go shower and get myself ready. We drove to Bristol, it was grey rainy day but seemed perfect to spend for shopping. Well, how much do I know. We where having coffee at some cafeterian when I sneezed and suddenly my nose started to bleed. And it wasnt regular bleed that I have from time to time, which aventually ends in 20 mins or so. It was tidal, tsunami, niagara or what ever I could imagine. It wasnt that normal "tip tip" thing, it was "floosh". After spending 40mins in shopping centers ladies room, bending over toilet and watching how it filled with blood I just started to feel so weak. It slowly ended. I got up and cleaned places, myself and we went to get me some ice cream to get my blood sugars on the road again. After It I felt like I was drunk until we got something to eat at Bristols most oldest pubs. I took fish and ships. Portion was HUGE, but it got me feel better slowly. We went to pick Eeva's guitar from the car and headed to The Old Duke and to Blues & Folk open mic night. (At this moment again to toilet to flood blood. I HATE THIS. All I do is having headache and weakness cause of it. I dont know what is it! ARGH!) The place was beautiful! Gotta love it. We where there like 7.30pm and had to wait for moment. Music Sessions started at 9pm. I met Damien, Eeva's friend who she had met few times around in Bristol. He's also musician. We met lotsa funny ppl. Eddie Martin was fabulous blues musician...Oh wow. Anyway, had a good time, met Adrian and had nice chat with him. This trip have brought a lot of new people and possibly new friends in to my life, which warms my heart and makes living even more enjoyable. Gsus, what a feeling, I have a slight headache and I feel weak as hell. Dunno how to get myself up with this - Im soon too scared to breath thought my nose... tiistai, tammikuu 04, 2005
Im at Monkton Farleigh. We went to Bath today, what a beautiful little town. I wish we could have got time to go around more, I just felt like going around a bit, looking around every little interesting shops and cafeterians around old town and so on, but no can do. Im still a bit fluish. Later on went to see movie with Eeva's friend and then to eat extremely expensive pizza (you can get amazingly good and kinda cheap oriental food and stuff here, but pizza's are outrageously priced!!) which was ok, but half pizza was tiny for person size as me...Anyway, then we went to Eeva's local to play some pool. I amazed myself again, dunno what is wrong with me here, but I seem to be good pool player! I kicked some ass, thought I didnt win more than once, but still, I hit 4 balls out from table at once and that kind of stuff. We have been listening a lot of ULTRA BRA lately. A band thats music makes me full and oh so sentimental. My head is on the way of explotion of all of the thoughts im going though. Too much too much. We sang along like we always have done, wildly and well, like the band sing itself too. Music that is like a life itself. One lyrics made me deeply touched today...We where driving back from movies (teary eye already) and there it was. Kuiskaus. (Eric and all my other foreing friends, you can find translation here.Tied�tk� hetken nimelt� hullun kaipuu katsot aurinkoon sokaistumatta p��si lep�� vasten tuulta joka puhuu pienist� pojista ja tyt�ist� maailman katolla jonne kiipesit itsekin ilman lupaa Oletko pel�nnyt liikaa pime�� niit� hetki� jolloin kirjoitit nimesi jokaiseen ikkunaan jos valo viel� sattuisi palamaan kaikkina niin� aamuina kun her�sit liian aikaisin h�m�r��n Mit� kertoisit aamukasteelle? Joka aina kertyy lehdille jotka laulavat varjojen takaa saaden lapsesi hymyilem��n muistaisit el�m�si hetket saaden tunteesi palaamaanI thought it was naivest and shittiest song (but cute) but somehow it hit me today. Im slightly stressed about funerals in friday noon. What we will do, in which part I will sing, what kind of flower to the grave, what will I have to say yadiyaa. I wish that it could be like empty church with only close (<10ppl) family there and not anyone else. And all the cake eating and mourning after it, shite - call me heartless but I wish I could go somewhere alone to lick all the pain away from my wounds. I havent gone to any funerals in ages, cause Im afraid of all the pain around there. Rubbish. maanantai, tammikuu 03, 2005
At east England now. First 6h of very feverish sitting in the bus from Edinburgh to Leeds, a meal, coffee and Kill Bill vol.2 med Eric and we took a car to here. 4.5h of driving WHICH includes a one broken left side mirror (which Eeva mashed before we even got ourself out from Eric's road), one happy hellow from Polices (we where driving over 90miles per hour and one can drive 70m/h at motorways), one unpaid 15� from 16l of gas cause station didnt axcept my visa electron (DIRTY ENGLISH BASTARDS!), and 40mins of driving to notice that we where lost. Otherwise we did very well ... I have no voice. I think I hit the bed now...But must say that I miss back to Scotland. When we drived away from Edinburgh sun was shining from blue sky and ocean and beaches looked amazing. There is so much to see and new friends...3days and Im flying back to finland. Not feeling like I'd want to return. The mood of being on the road is something I've lived with all my life, when Im like that again, I feel whole. Maybe Im just stupid and running away of being good person (or going to airforce) ... or then Im just plain EVIL. Bwahhaha. I miss Somebody. Senni, how's my darling is doing? maanantai, tammikuu 03, 2005 | | | sunnuntai, tammikuu 02, 2005
Saa on hirvea. Sataa rantaa ja jos kay ulkona, ovea saa repia raivolla kiinni koska tuulee niin paljon. Ihmiset olivat lahdossa ulos mutta saa niin hrivea niin pakittavat olohuoneessa ja katsotaan jalkapalloa. ikavoin suunnattomasti kotiin atm koska olo hetkellisesti kuumeinen, nena vuotaa valilla verta ja rakaa, vasyttaa ja huomenna aamusesta pitaisi jattaa skotlanti ja lahtea britteihin, bloody aye, I love scotland!! Freedom! We watched Braveheard today and ordered some chinese food, also had a drinking came I posted here earlier. What a great fun. Im a bit depressed, like new year ahead, not anymore hangoverish, but tired and having a flu. Dunno do I have temperature or so, but I feel like shit! All the things in my head is driving me nuts - I've been partying two nights and forget all the things that are ahead of me like 10.1. and well something before that what will brake my heart. Which is of course my granpa's funeral at 7th. I'll get home at 6th night. Im too tired to think anything about it, Im just worried about myself handeling it. ATM Im feeling weak and tired of pushing all the sadness out from myself. all the things seems like a dream. Last night, streetparty and all where like a dream. I love these ppl around here and Im having a time of my life, but still somewhere far behind of my stupid silly head Im having a enourmous brainstorm. Painkiller and glogi with vodka - help me. :) sunnuntai, tammikuu 02, 2005 | | | lauantai, tammikuu 01, 2005
We are at Chriss and its well...ppl are going crazy in this lovely city. Im alive and going. Street party was G R E A T. I just loved it. Like... Have you guys ever, I mean - really, had thousands of ppl around you smiling, HAPPY and, the energy (summer festivals has something like that but not really)...amazing. Anyway, IM ALIVE and back in the country in...5 days. See ya then. Puss och Kram. | |
