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lauantai, tammikuu 31, 2004
Oh dear. We have sj�l� show tonight again. Im neurvous. I just cannot help it. Goddamn, my saldo is closet (I talked too much with ppl last night at phone) but it will be open tonight...Sigh. What a storm. Its like -1 degrees celcius and its snowing heavily. Indeed windy.
Two last days at work have been quite hard. Last night I just came home before 9pm and watched telly whole night, had some potato chips, went to sauna and relaxed. Early to sleep. My back and neck aint that achy anymore after good night sleep (add mobilat).
Its the time of my life when I enjoy being alone with my thoughts. Also I enjoy doing things - working, starting new projects, planning to move away from Littoinen (alone or together with Johanna.) soonish and so on. So much plans...Sigh.
Cold coffee. Yup.
lauantai, tammikuu 31, 2004 |
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perjantai, tammikuu 30, 2004
Oh how Im tired of getting ppl pissed off about things I decide and want to do in my life. ITS MY LIFE!!
perjantai, tammikuu 30, 2004 |
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torstai, tammikuu 29, 2004
Your aura shines Red!
What Color Is Your Aura?
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torstai, tammikuu 29, 2004 |
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I cry for film for my polaroid camera and lomo. WHINE.
torstai, tammikuu 29, 2004 |
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keskiviikko, tammikuu 28, 2004
I just noticed that I should have T-day today. Ty�ntasausp�iv�. Free day. A day home. Im at work. What the fuck.
keskiviikko, tammikuu 28, 2004 |
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ARGH. Maariankadun k�mpp� taitaa menn� sivu suun...harmin harmi. Aika idyllinen lukaali olisi ollut. Mutta toivo ei ole viel� menetetty�!
keskiviikko, tammikuu 28, 2004 |
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Hermostuttaa. T�n��n on SE esitys joka tulee ensi-illan j�lkeen. Hermostuttavaa. Se on niin ... hermostuttavaa. En tied�, en osaa kertoa varsinaisesti miksi. Ensin�kin, voi olla, ett� muut kuorossa eiv�t tajua nostaa energiaansa samalle tasolle kuin ensi-illassa. Toiseksi, esitys on loppuun myyty. Kolmanneksi, siell� on vajaa 30 ihmist� t�st� talosta (eli t�ist�ni) katsomassa. Hellurei ja hell�t tunteet. Jos homma menee FlipFlop sarjaksi niin kuka siit� kuulee? Maine (mik�?) mennyt.
On j�nn� tunne tuntea itsens� t�rke�ksi. Harvinainen, mutta oivallinen tapa helli� aina vain musertuvaa egoani. T�n��n salvaa oli saada el�m�ni ensimm�inen TY�emailosoite (sek� omat tunnukset verkkoon.) - lotta.rytkonen@tyks.fi. Oh oh.
Voiko v�symykseen kuolla? Perse sent��n. Tuleepa vkl:st� kiirusta taas.
keskiviikko, tammikuu 28, 2004 |
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I feel so much like singing. I want to BURST TO SING .... "Here we are together in the middle of the night, dont talk of stars, just hold me tight. Anyone who's ever been in love can tell you that - this is no time for a chat!..." Oh oh oh My fair lady and song "show me" is rolling around in my mouth and despetrately wanting to get out...Shooooow me....Sho-o-oooow me...
Yeah. GE operation is lasting for hours and Im trying to kill time. Oh yes, I have work to do, but its stormy outside, I put too much sugar in my coffee and didnt bring any lunch to eat. Argh - Shame on me.
keskiviikko, tammikuu 28, 2004 |
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tiistai, tammikuu 27, 2004
Quite tired. Whoah, weekend was great. Premier was enertic and fab, I have no words about it and premierfest where nice. Sunday I spend relaxing. Monday was gloomy. Now - tuesday ... Im looking of an add about amazing apartment. We've been planning to move together, I and Johanna for awhile, and I found amazing place at Maariankatu. Old house, high rooms, wooden floors and in kitchen there are black/white stone floors...78 square, 670e (335e per person) ... mm. Damnation, I only have to pay my old rents away and ... I dont know, of course I can dream huh? U never know. It would be fab...I mean - its just fine for getting more money when I start to study someday. Its now or never to move together with room mate, cause Im still young, not having family or kids or a man living with me. Im planning to get work at city, at another country perhaps in summer and so on. Its now or never to get to do things in my life, before I stay in one place and study and get myself a real life ... ;) (I have so much energy to live my dreams. Why do I need to think that "oh next summer perhaps" ... "next year maybe"... Im not going to get anything done if I dont start now!) ...
Tomorrow we start life after premier and reviews. Hopefully we have the same energhy than in saturday.
tiistai, tammikuu 27, 2004 |
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maanantai, tammikuu 26, 2004
Hate to be in work.
maanantai, tammikuu 26, 2004 |
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perjantai, tammikuu 23, 2004
Hurray. I try to do work, but what im doing - trying to keep myself awake, trying to look like Im workin, trying to look for an apartment and figure out why did Eevis (old choreographer from Putket Hehkuu) just came in here with Tuire and and...what Im going, these silly quizes. Oh bloody hell.
Lucky bastard. You're CATcrazy: you can do pretty
much anything you like, everyone still loves
you.
Fucked up, any?
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perjantai, tammikuu 23, 2004 |
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create your own visited country map
I do need to travel more. Next summer... next summer...
perjantai, tammikuu 23, 2004 |
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Im so tired that Im about to lose my voice. Yesterdays act was very enertic, Im so waiting for tonight and opening show tomorrow. Sigh. But - Im also waiting for sunday, the idea of having free day which Im going to spend resting and sleeping. I dont know when did I had that time. Today I have long day at work and then again long day at theather...Shitty. But hang on there, Lotta.
perjantai, tammikuu 23, 2004 |
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torstai, tammikuu 22, 2004
Im quite neurvous about the fact that we are having over 200 ppl watching our act tonight. My tummy is going round and 'round, and I cannot really do anything perfectly. Gladly I have this intensive work which forces me to think something else. But always when I sit down and start to do something by myself alone, I start to shiver; "Oh my God, we have _everyone_ there tonight"...At friday even more ppl and saturday is totally full - opening. ARGH! Ommm....
Last nights rehersals where quite something good. It was most intensive by our group ever, we worked hard _together_ first time, I think. Quite nice. And I was the only alto2 who was at rehersals, I had to sing alone. It was horrible first, but then I was like "what the fuck, I know these songs by now" and let myself go. Director was happy, we got a loads of "Yay, way to go!" cheers and so on. Great. Like first time ppl actually said thank you for us or something. Its quite hard for me cause Im perfectionist about the things I act or sing or so. I've done theather and I've been performing since I was a kid. After long awhile I noticed myself to be in female "choir" with ppl who havent ever done theather. They didnt know how to behave, how to use their voice, etc etc. Its been eating my nerves so much in past month. Now Im sure that it will go just fine. Wish that they could learn to listen around too...Next project I want to be acappella or less "female choir" stuff again. I wanna blues, baby!! (or all that jazzz....!)
Its sunny. Oh my god HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS WEATHER. Even thought its cold, but not windy as it was last night. Clear sky, -12 degrees celcius and it feels so good to breath. While I was changeing bus at city on my way to work, sun came up and I felt it - Warmth on my cheeks. Sun is floating away, spring is getting near. Oh how much I get energy of thinking spring. Oh oh oh.
torstai, tammikuu 22, 2004 |
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tiistai, tammikuu 20, 2004
Funny haha.
tiistai, tammikuu 20, 2004 |
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maanantai, tammikuu 19, 2004
Weekend past me by too quickly. Again at work and mind is full of thoughts which I want to write down here, but as we will soon see, its all just familiar lame bable about work, theather rehersals and so on. Im boring person and I do know it.
Yesterday was such a gloomy sunday. I saw nightmares and didnt sleep well, so I spend whole day at bed. Nightmares about seeing and article of missing boy - who happends to be my old glassmate. They found him dead few days ago. Im so sorry. Rest in peace Henri. :(
Sigh.
Anyway, then again very GOOD news, when something (old wont be the right word) dies, something new borns - Saaga girlie Iina brought little beautiful girl to earth! Concratulation girlie! Wooo! Wooo! Saaga-Aunties and one Uncle are very happy.
Today again rehersals med audience. Im so neurvous. Long day ahead, gotta hate it.
im not sure, did I remember to take Senni's phone (my old phone which Im giving to Senni) before I left to bus. Im quite sure I put it to my backbag, but ... now Im not that sure anymore. At mornings Im such an ass to remember even to take keys or so. Too much to think and so, huh. ;)
I spend last night at phone - First Eka called from Tikkakoski, she's happily surviving at army. Go girlie! Then Hani called after long long while without hearing anything about him. We had long nice chat, he wanted to know that Im oki, cause I've been sending quite tired sms to him from time to time. Then after his call Virpi called quickly, perfect ;) So gossip chain went forward. Ha.
Bwaha.
maanantai, tammikuu 19, 2004 |
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lauantai, tammikuu 17, 2004
Saturday is perfect for tin whisle practising. Its cloudy and dark, spend my noon at bed, Somebody didnt let me sleep - damned cat! Well, he just dont realize that nails are not nice when those keep scratching my hair and so...
Arch. Met Maija quickly yesterday. She's coming to see our rehersals / kenraaliesitys at next thursday. Also got invited to Down Towns 3years celebration party at next wednesday (Veeti, Eric Valkama - YAY!!) and so on. Very nice, but I think I just have to skip it, cause I do have work at morning and rehersals 'til 10pm. Darn. :P Anyway, five fifteen rock and Im having loads of energy. And while saying that I realized how tired I feel. But clock inside me keeps me awake and outta bed. What is wrong with me? Before I started to work like a mad monkey I use to sleep 10-19h easily if I felt like it. Nowadays I always woke up very early, If I dont have to get up I just get wakeing up every hour til I get up...
In few weeks I need to go to Senni's place and up load all the stuff from snow-white.org to this server cause my portfolio aint working and I dont have any pictures in this server and so on. Very nasty. That also means that I have to go thought all the stuff in this blog and change web tags to other addy. ARGH. That will be a mission, I must say.
I luv him so.
lauantai, tammikuu 17, 2004 |
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perjantai, tammikuu 16, 2004
At Work, suprise huh?
T�n� iltana satoi taas lunta (voisin kirjoittaa kokonaisen blogin vain k�ytt�en eri kappaleiden nimi� kirjoituksessani.) tosin t�ss� tapauksessa puhutaan ihan vain aamusta ja p�iv�st�. Tulin yll�tt�en ��rimm�isen ajoissa t�ihin, vaikka bussi oli my�h�ss� tapansa mukaan. Hullut kuskit ovat aikataulujemme pelastus ja selvisin elossa aikaisin sairaalalle.
Eilen meni harkoissa ihan jees. Hirve�n poikki oli lopulta kun p��si kotiin. Nyt takamus ja s��ret aivan poikki kun seisoi stagella kuin tanko bebassa kun tiesi, ett� jokainen liike n�kyy ja mit��n ei saisi n�ky�. T�n��n on jo koeyleis�. Huoh, joskus n�yttelen jossain _oikeasti_. Harmittaa, ett� kukaan teatterilla ei tied� pitk�st� musiikki/teatteri menneisyydest�ni ja sen sellaista. Olen vain yksi naama siit� kauheasta laumasta �mmi�, jotka eiv�t tied� mit��n teatterin tekemisest� ja m�lyv�t ja liikkuvat kuin lehm� lauma. Joskus on olo, ett� mit� vittua siit� tulee...nyt kun ajattelina siaa, alkoi s�rkem��n heti p��t�. Oe. Voi tosin johtua siit�, ett� j�nnitt�� tai siit�, ett� olen tuijottanut aamusta asti t�t� saamarin ruutua tehden anestesialomakkeita. Juoskentelin kellarissa arkistoissa etsim�ss� jonkun vanhan potilaan tietoja ja yll�tt�v�n aikaisin rep�isin v�lin sy�d�kkin jotain.
Eka on armeijassa sitten. Sai eilen rynkyn. Go girl, suomen puolustuksen selk�ranka!
L�ysin asunnon l�helt� sairaalaa. Ajattelin k�yd� katsomassa. Ei se tarkoita, ett� ottaisin sen. Vuokrat litsassa r�stiss� kun palkkoja ei ole maksettu ja muuta, en nyt kyll� kuun vaihteeseen mill��n kerkisi muuttamaan!! Mutta 26neli�t�, puulattiat, korkeat huoneet Wanhassa rakennuksessa...uh :)
Sin��ns�, tottunut asumaan 39 neli�isess� oman saunan omaavassa upeassa luksus ateli� tyyppisess� ratkaisussa littoisten verkatehtaalla. Matkat vaan kest�� niin hirveesti. Ajatus muutosta rikkoo jotain suurta syd�mmess�, se oli juuri se paikka jonne yritin ekaa kertaa ly�d� juureni. Ehk� se on niin, ett� totta kai voi aina palata? Sitten joskus, kasvattamaan sinne muksuja etc mahdollisesti, joskus? eh. Ajatus virtaa, t�iss� pit�isi tehd� t�it�. Kaupungissa s��st�isi aikaa, saisin nukkua aamulla pitemp��n, bussikortti olisi yli puolet halvempi ja ja ja...
Oh fuck I want to get on the stage, even thought I am even tonight, I NEED THE BLUES. My body and soul is screaming for blues! Im your pride and joy...God, I miss back home. I miss RH Blues Band gigs SO much that right now it drives my tummy achy. Sniff.
I need to make a version of this to B.O.M. Even thought I start to think that I dont even have a blues band no more.
I love this song from Denise LaSalle (and the best version is by RHBB and J.Leino for sure!), I've been humming it and all the songs from S�ngen I sj�l� whole day at work to keep myself sappy.
I came home this morning
Oh what a shock
When I found out my key
No longer fit my lock
Oh baby
You just go right back out there where you've been
'Cause while you were slippin' out
Oh someone else was slippin' in
I thought I was your fool
That you could count on
One was right there
When no one else is at home
But oh baby
I think I found myself a new friend
But while you were slippin' out
Oh Lord, someone else was slippin' in
Now cry your heart out
Oh you don't mean a thing to me
I'm a brand new (WO)man
And you can plainly see
A new way to walk people and of wearin' my hair
This big smile you see on my face
You didn't put it there
I got a new way of wearin' my hair
This big smile on my face babe
You didn't put it there
Oh baby
You just take me back out there where you've been
'Cause while you were slippin' out
Someone else was slippin' in
Oh Lord
Now cry your heart out
Oh you don't mean a thing to me
I'm a brand new (WO)man
Even Stevie Wonder can see
A new way to walk people and of wearin' my hair
This big smile on my face baby
You didn't put it there
I got a new way of wearin' my hair
This big smile on my face
You didn't put it there
Oh baby
You just go right back out there where you've been
'Cause while you were slippin' out
Someone else was slippin' in
OH Oh oh...Gotta run to operation room now. Laters folks.
perjantai, tammikuu 16, 2004 |
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torstai, tammikuu 15, 2004
Hahha. Ostin 1.5l mango j��tel�� t�ihin. Mr. Isberg itse tuli kiitt�m��n minua "kuluneen vuoden parhaasta ty�st�ni"...bwahahah. ;))
Muuten aika ihme pv. Aamulla oli iso riita. Kukaan ei halua puhua asiasta.
torstai, tammikuu 15, 2004 |
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Sigh.
I found a dream apartment next to my work place in old house. With wooden floors and so on. Its already taken, think about few seconds and its too late. Plaah.
Rehersals again today. I shall meet Korte after it and talk about doing papers for schools and so on. My neck is starting to feel like a stone and pain floats into my tooths. Heh. Hopefully rehersals today are quiet and stress free. Im so full of that babling 24/7 and chaos what is around there. Im use to be in theathers and I know how things goes and I get confused and soft brained after listen stupid bable for 5 mins while there is rehersals _going on_. ARGH.
Sunday is free. Im going to do some important things at home then like vacuuming and so on.
I have no things to say. Epa went to France today, which reminds me ...
HAPPY BDAY EPA MY LOVELY FRIEND-ah!!!1
Im having terrific bunch of ideas in my head circling around. For life. X) Also Im eager to take off. Im eagerly planning things to happend. Argh. Gotta work for awhile.
torstai, tammikuu 15, 2004 |
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keskiviikko, tammikuu 14, 2004
boring survey.
1) Using band names, spell out your first name:
L7
Oasis ?
Tomoyasu Hotei
Towa Tei
Audioslave
2) Have you ever had a song written about you?
Whole Lotta Love is one, but Led Zeppelin wrote it years before I was born...
3) What song makes you cry?
There is so many songs that makes me cry. Perhaps Bj?rk's "Play Dead" is one. Elgars Cello Concertto 3 in d minor is also one that makes me cry like someone died or something...
4) What song makes you happy?
Blues Brothers "Gimme some lovin'", Marilyn Michaels "Show me".
5) What do you like to listen to before bed?
Silence or very quiet music.
6) Name a song by Coal Chamber:
i don't remember any right now.
7) Who was/were your idol/s when you were younger?
Lars von Trier, Blues Brothers, Bj?rk ...
8) First album you ever bought?
Manicstreet Preachers "everything must go".
9) Name a song that reminds you of someone and why:
"Nainen tanssii tangoa" by CMX reminds me of S?de. Always.
a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT: 1,52
HAIR COLOR: brown, blonde, beige mixup.
SKIN COLOR: pale.
EYE COLOR: green/grey/blue
PIERCINGS: ears, tummy button
TATTOOS: none
r i g h t n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: blue operationroom pants.
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: nothing
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: coffee
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: 4 below zero, gloomy dark grey day.
HOW ARE YOU? Comme si, Comme sa.
d o y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: not really.
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: lotsa.
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: very well.
LIKE TO DRIVE?: love to.
f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: late night with Conan O'brien.
CONDITIONER: Silk--- something.
BOOK: Banana Yoshimoto's "kitchen"
MAGAZINE: daced & confuced, astronomy now, home decoration mags and music stuff.
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: water, peach nectar, virgin mary, pepsi, milk.
ALCOHOLIC DRINK: bloody mary, tequila (sunrise), dark beer, kriek, red wine, zombie ;)
BAND OR GROUP: too too many.
l o v e
BOYFRIEND: n/a
GIRLFRIEND: no
SEXUALITY: yes
CHILDREN: hopefully someday.
CURRENT CRUSH: somebody (my cat.)
BEEN IN LOVE?: yes
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: yeah.
BEEN HURT?: yes
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: no
r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: yes indeed.
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: The Ark
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: music, movies, friends, good food, relaxing, emails, photos...
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: friends.
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: I have a long list and no idea.
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Im not going to name anyone.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: sing, listen music, sleep, eat, watch movies ...
w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: When I came home last friday from work/reherls - I was so tired that I just cried.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: well my landlord left a little piece of paper to my mailbox yesterday, but I dont concider its as a real letter.
YOU GOT EMAIL? freakin' 100 piece of spam and only one what was really _for me_.
THING YOU PURCHASED: microwave dinner.
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: morning news
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: lord of the rings
keskiviikko, tammikuu 14, 2004 |
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tiistai, tammikuu 13, 2004
Oh darn. Tired. Im so smashed about the fact of having rehersals tonight too. Every goddamn night. But! Ty� tekij��ns� kiitt��, right? :P
At work. Boring it is.
tiistai, tammikuu 13, 2004 |
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perjantai, tammikuu 09, 2004
Oh yeah. I was so sure that this day will be the hectic one. I was so sure that Im able to leave at 13-15 o'clock, but seems like I will just run to theather. Im fainted. But Im sure I'll manage till opening at 24th day (only few weeks, where screwed. Lotta, dont think about it all you'll die by heart attack!!)
Omn...Ommm...
Its snowy and roads are extremely icy. My boots are slippy. I like skied down of Kaskenkatu yesterday. Must looked silly. Anyway, havent really got time to write anything in ages. Im sorry. Been nusy. today aint that busy at work, yesterday I just made it to rehersals ... and I was like a zombie. at 10pm I was so close to total crashdown. Got home and made some noodles (there was nothing at fridge, cause I dont have time to go to the store fer fuck sakes!) and played with Somebody. I wish I could have more time to spend with him. I feel a bad mother, even thought he's a cat, Im a human and - ETC.
Oh, Im so excited about the fact of just starting a new year again. I always have these big plans when year turns and make list abouts things I _need_ to do before year is over and so on...I dont know should I try to write one of those now? I was quite sure I'll skip that habit and turn to cynic bastard who make no plans what so ever.
03.03.03 I wrote "Things I want to do this year" list. Now I do the same for the year 2004.
? Learn how to sail a sailing boat. (again from last years list.)
? Visit gullkrona and other nice places at archipelago. (from last years list.)
? Be on stage a lot with Saaga and enjoy hanging around with the group.
? Do loads of rocking blues songs.
? Write hits for Sorb-i-tol.
? Get an apprenticeship contract with some restaurant and work/study hard.
? When weathers allow, start to jog again. Also I still need to get new pair of jogging-shoes.
? Have a amazing summer like I did this year. Go to Cygnus, archipelaco, drive around in europe med Epa for 3 weeks, hiking to lapland, summer work at Naantali, spend time at Daddy-O's. etc.
? New apartment.
? or then new car.
? Get a new bow to my cello.
? Start my cello lesson igen.
? Jag m?ste l?re prata svenska.
? Start kick-boxing. AT LAST.
? Get myself to dancing lessons. Tap-dancing, Tango or Salsa.
? Learn how to sing Flamenco music.
? Learn to play percussions - djembe and my lovely tin whisle.
? Get close again with friends I've lost while years have past us by. Be as much contact to my pals as I can. Learn to be a better friend.
? Get money and spend it well. SAVE.
? Learn to keep my eyes open and not to afraid to get in to intresting and requiring projects.
? Write.
(I hate how hectic otherwise this day is. Im sitting here, looking like a busy working person and patients and work mates are running around. These are the days when I would love to hide from every eye. I wonder why Im an artist? Sigh.) Oe. Monella tapaa v?sytt??. Vartalo on v?synyt koska on koko ajan niin skarppi. Nukkuu hassut 5 tuntia y?ss? ja sitten taas 110 % eteenp?in. Im your big train Zshoo Zshooo.
I feel like singing. Like, really, singing. Blues. Im so amazed by the fact that Im the only one who decide what Im going to do. I've always been so much thinking not hurting anyone with my choises. Now Im going to do everything I feel like I want to do - First Im going to start with filling application to be an actor at Keskiajan Turku/Medieval market at summer. It would be so Fab. Ah ah ah.
I've been sitting here so long. I need some coffee. Its already 2pm and I have no time to get notes from Music school where Sirre left 'em for me.
perjantai, tammikuu 09, 2004 |
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torstai, tammikuu 08, 2004
It seems that this day will last forever. I feel like I've been at work for hours, time goes normally so fast but today - slowly oh so slowly...
then rehersals. Argh.
torstai, tammikuu 08, 2004 |
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Im whining back my Solas (Senni, I want it back ASAP - tomorrow maybe? I cannot get up in the mornings no more...), adoring the idea of searching records of Natalie Macmaster AND all I want to do is wathing this site or this links and learn to play my tin whisle.
Im death tired after day of work and hard rehersals.
But man, I got boots - and these boots are make for walking...Nighty nite.
torstai, tammikuu 08, 2004 |
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keskiviikko, tammikuu 07, 2004
Harvemmin olen kuullut, ett� edes lapsi potilaat olisivat pit�neet sellaista meteli� kun er�s mies t�ll� hetkell�. En kest� kuulla.
Ei helvetti, on kauheaa kun joku huutaa kun sattuu. Oli sitten vastasyntynyt tai 90v.
keskiviikko, tammikuu 07, 2004 |
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tiistai, tammikuu 06, 2004
I just love the series called 24.
tiistai, tammikuu 06, 2004 |
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