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perjantai, lokakuu 31, 2003
Im the only one here at work now. These forms I have to put online today, or then Im in trouble. Gaah. I also lost my monday (which is my bday and should have been T day.) and have to come to work. Tired. Wanna relax!
perjantai, lokakuu 31, 2003 |
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torstai, lokakuu 30, 2003
Im so fucking stressed. I have _loads_ of work here and stress about trying to get Epa, Hanna and Maija to phoneline! Why in earth I have to do things always. Why its my fault and Im the one who is going to get hurt by this? Why does its like blackmailing? "If you dont do this and if you screw up like you always do you will suffer, bitch!!" :(
And then when I call to girls, I make 'em stressed and so on. Everyone is having so much to do right now...
torstai, lokakuu 30, 2003 |
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keskiviikko, lokakuu 29, 2003
Niin v�sy. Ulkona sumuisaa ja hyvin pime��. T�iss� onneksi n�ytt�isi olevan ��rimm�isen lyhyt p�iv� t�n��n.
Nukuin syv�sti, mutta olo ei lev�nnyt. Vartalo viel� todella rikki sairastelusta ja eilen oli hirve� ysk�, nuha ja kurkkukipu p�iv�. Olo karhea. Kiireinen viikko. Kiireinen seuraavat viikkoa. Viikonlopun j�lkeen tosin helpottaa, maanantaina vanhenen taas vuoden ja k�yn kampaajalla. Sitten regular rento ty�viikko ilman sen suurempia murheita. Nyt joka p�iv� jotain ja kotiin vasta 20-24, suoraan unille ja yl�s t�ihin. Kissa n�kee nukkumaan menness� ja kun her��.
Olenko huono yst�v�? Taidan olla.
keskiviikko, lokakuu 29, 2003 |
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tiistai, lokakuu 28, 2003
On raskasta kun on lapsipotilaita. Sit� itkua. Kaikkialla ja ei voi tehd� mit��n.
Eilen Miian pentu oli k�ym�ss�. Sellainen vuotinen. Nyt Jonnan. Sellainen 2kk. Ja minulla syv�ll� sis�ll� her�� se "vauvakuume" bakteeri. Huhuh.
Viime y�n nukuin sike�sti ja nyt lev�nnyt �ber v�synyt olo, mutta voi kuinka nautin olla t�iss�.
tiistai, lokakuu 28, 2003 |
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maanantai, lokakuu 27, 2003
Ok, Stop whining biatch.
maanantai, lokakuu 27, 2003 |
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Joskus liika on liikaa. Menen kantsomaan k�nnykk�� ja hakemaan c-vitamiini pillereit�. Avaan kaappini ja purkillinen hiusvahaa l�j�ht�� hyllylt� alas, valuu takkiani pitkin laukkuni sein�m�� lattialle. Koko purkki sekunnissa valunnut muualle. Mik� sotku. Levi�� vaan siivoamalla. Kaikki limaista ja tahmeaa. Ainoa mill� l�hti takista tahmeus pois oli pirtulla. Ja niin l�hti v�rikin. Sitten systeri vittuilee puhelimitse ja en uskalla kohdata ty�tovereita etten r�j�hd� seinille, olen liian v�synyt. Istun varastossa ja kirjoittelen kaavoja joita on 7cm pino tekem�tt�.
POSITIIVISTA:
Aurinko paistaa ja on ihastuttavan raikas ilma. Mieti Lotta nyt pos. asioita, please.
maanantai, lokakuu 27, 2003 |
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Im at work, but after horrible night - no sleep at all. Not even an hour. I just rolled around da bed, always when I close my eyes I felt like sinking to water or something. Passing out. World spinning. Blood russing out from my heart. Weak as hell. First cold, then sweat. Then at 5am I was so weak and started to feel suddenly so hungry that I was aching! I got up and made some porrige, coffee, juice, bread and stuff like that. Read paper and hang around. I felt so goddamn tired but it was useless to go to sleep anymore. I was so tired whole night trought but I didnt get any sleep. I could past down. I came to work and first 1�h I just waited someone to open me an computer. I just want to go home and sleep. Everyone is so busy that they cannot take bloodtest from me today. I think there's something wrong with my body. Im so weak and its not getting any better even thought I ate yesterday at Homehome. I felt shaky and weak whole day. And that headache. Gosh. Whole weekend trought. Makes me think...Sigh. :P I WANT MYSELF BACK! GO AWAY U DARN FLU!
maanantai, lokakuu 27, 2003 |
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perjantai, lokakuu 24, 2003
bWAH. I've been sitting all day here at computer and trying to put all these anestesia forms to our system...I have loads of them left, cause I've been away for few weeks almost. Darn. That's why I need to come to work at monday, even thought I dont need to.
Im waiting to get out from work. Meeting Senni for coffee. Then later on to Epa's home warming get-to-gether...Something yummy to eat and loads of relaxing hang around stuff, Im sure. Nice! Dad wrote in to my gbook. Its snowing at Kajaani. Woah. It was great to go out at morning to wait bus, cause I've been inside at my home for days, it was so cold! Sparkling! Woah.
In a way I just love to be at work. My work mates with all this laugh and sappiness. It makes me want to come here everyday. Grey day. Where is that sun which I had on my eyes when I woke up?
perjantai, lokakuu 24, 2003 |
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Work. Im feeling so weak. Every thing I do, I get sweat all over me and it feels like I've ran marathon. Troarth is still sore. Hopes are high for me to get better SOON!
"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla
perjantai, lokakuu 24, 2003 |
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What goes on in the dark baby?
On my way to sleep. Not really feeling better. Relaxed after sauna. Hopefully Im healthy and sappy at work tomorrow. I hope so. Watching movie with Gary Oldman (drool) and Lena Olin (why I didnt born in her body! Why Im not her! Oh my she's fab!! All I wish I can be. ;>) ... Have to leave it and hop in to bed. Chill down baby, you have to get up from bed in 7h. Argh.
perjantai, lokakuu 24, 2003 |
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torstai, lokakuu 23, 2003
torstai, lokakuu 23, 2003 |
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That sorb-i-tol music video we shoot in Vaasa few months ago - watch it. "BlueNoir"!
And video of "Al Dente" is also ready! Watch it ...
mpg (32 Mt)
divx 4.0 (72 Mt)
(I havent seen it, cause I have such a lousy slow internet connection...Argh!). I really wait forward to get shoots of "Tomodachi" done someday. I have loads of visions and ideas for it. I want to get my health back and then get it rolling with Jukka.
Today I woke up with huge headache and I still have it. All of those pills have done nothing for it. I was at Homehome. Called to work that I wont be there in few days. Felt horrible, I hate to be away from work. Anyway, back to sleep and when I woke up at 2pm I had this headache. My eyes where all sore and I coulnt get 'em open cause of pain. I took pill and got it down with orange juice and threw up. Then I drank piim� and threw up. Headache got more painfull and I went to bed, cause I was so close of passing down. I lay down for few hours and headache was still there. And is still here, not that painfull, thought. And as you can see - Im back home. On my way to sleep. I'll write a loads of more tomorrow.
Btw - we got some snow, I heard! While I was feeling terrible at my mothers place it was snowing a bit outside. Nothing left anymore, but hey - its winter here soon. Yah! Nighty.
torstai, lokakuu 23, 2003 |
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tiistai, lokakuu 21, 2003
I got 3days off from work. Nice doc. - Fuck it! I want to get better, I want to get to work! I hate this. Depression cause of this fever and sore troath is making me snappy. I go to home home for this night. There I get something to eat. Medicines cost me over 30e. Silm�tulehdus, kurkkuviljelm� jonka tulokset saan huomenna. Saikkua. Muuta l��kett�. Hurraa. ARGH. Ett� olen pahalla p��ll�.
tiistai, lokakuu 21, 2003 |
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This headache. This troathache. Home again. I hate to be away from work, I feel myself lousy piece of shit! Thought, you cannot be ill and working in hospital. Yea! :P Ensiksi soitin viereiseen arvauskeskukseen. Ei aikoja viikkoon. Sitten ty�terveyteen. "Ajanvaraus palvelussamme on nyt ��rimm�isen ruuhkaista. Soita my�hemmin uudestaan. Kiire tapauksissa suosittelemme soittamaan alueesi terveyskeskukseen tai p�ivystykseen" ... t�t� rallia tunti tuutista ja kyll�styin. Soitin lietoon. Sinne sitten kohta. Ei t�ss� olla kuin koko hela dagen odoteltu, ett� sinne p��sisi. Menee se el�m� n�inkin, odotellessa. Miss� on "nyt ja heti"? Roar.
tiistai, lokakuu 21, 2003 |
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maanantai, lokakuu 20, 2003
Tired. on my way to sleep. This couching is making my life hell. I have no voice. I mean really - _no_ voice. If I speak is silent wisper. I've lost it totally. My troath aint achy or so, it feels more like that I have a huge piece of stone there. And no voice. Last night I was awake couching to 9am until it went over and I got myself asleep. Yay. Hopefully Im lucky enought this time! I have all the medicine I could gather around me and IM SO GOING TO WIN THIS BATTLE WITH THIS FLU! YA! Ho, leave me alone. Roar. I mean - I have work tomorrow. One good side here is that I dont have to speak - swedish. Bwaha! I love to have a bad taste of humor. Could they fire me cause of that? Mm. Nighty nite.
maanantai, lokakuu 20, 2003 |
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perjantai, lokakuu 17, 2003
Sunny outside. Dark soon. Its been long and busy work day and I've been totally useless. Altought Im sure I only thought that way. Oh well ... Waiting for legs. Mood here is quite pissed off, ppl want to get home and there is lots of work to do still. Im just sneezing and looking like a zombie. Ear is still achy.
Tomorrow I'll get car for awhile cause I'll be Mum and Pentti's driver for awhile. K�nnikuski. They are celebrating their 3years of marriage (and 9years of dating or so) ... coolest huh. And they are still happy and going strong. Im so proud. But back to work. Zzzz.
perjantai, lokakuu 17, 2003 |
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After long while - Im back at work. Tired. Didnt sleep at all last night cause of heavy painfull ache in my right ear. I cried like a baby when I called to my step-father at 4.30am "Bohoo, can you drive me to doctor" but he confirm me to take some painkillers and but hot water in little bottle and keep it next to my ear and it helped. I slept few hours and woke up death tired. I coulndt get my eyes open cause those where covered of yellow something and quite sore. Now Im feeling just tired and slow. I cannot hear a thing cause my ear is blocked and left one is deaf. 8) 4 days of high fever took my strainght away and yesterday I went outside from my apartment to get some blueberry soup to store which is next to me (like under 50m!) it felt like I've took and ran Cooper test. Gaah :)
But slow chilling weekend ahead. Im not going to do a thing. Just meet friends and chill out. Today I go home (after long long long long work day), take nap and then meet Senni perhaps. Or Epa or Korte. Dunno. Ha. Saturday I'll just chill out more and sleeep. Then sunday I will just chill more and mo'! Monday work again. Whaha!
I need some serious vacation out from this land. Soon! less than
FOUR WEEKS AND IM GONE!
perjantai, lokakuu 17, 2003 |
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keskiviikko, lokakuu 15, 2003
Sigh. Yesterday I spend my royal freeday just hanging around and cleaning this apartment. I even changed arrange of my furnitures ... Eka was here helping me, we carried 3bags of empty bottles to Prisma. 6e is loads of money. Suddenly like a rock from the sky I started feel weak and achy. Eka drove me to city where I went to pharmacy to get one of those "kuumemittari". It was 6e. All my money. Bwah! But I bought it. Met Senni, went to watch their brand new cool DVD player and then it started to get on me. Later when I got home I was burning. In whole night I didnt sleep much cause I was so goddamn cold. I was wearing fleece jacket, trouses, wool socks and three blankets and I was feeling so cold that I've never felt anything like that. Same at morning. I called to work that I wont come. Fuck I hate this when I truly wait for get to work I cannot go cause Im ill! Those new students from germany and all! I got up from bed after 8pm (first time!) and drank a bit and got something to eat - mum came to see me cause she bought me some painkillers (I really need those!) and food. Yeah. Now Im drinking tea and getting myself to bed again. Seems like fever is getting on to me again, I feel cold ... :P :P :P
I HATE BEING SICK. Its no use for that. I lose money when Im not at work. Fuck. :P
J�nn�� muuten se, ett� ihottumani on l�hes t�ydellisesti laskenut ja hiljalleen kaikonnut siit� sekunnista l�htien kun kuume nousi. Hum? Strange.
keskiviikko, lokakuu 15, 2003 |
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maanantai, lokakuu 13, 2003
Still having headache. Day is free to do what ever I want to - tomorrow work again. I'll meet those two new kandi's from Germany too. Exiting or what!
Sorb-i-tol / Outcry
Its so easy to fal down the bottom,
I know Its so easy to just ignore
All the life that goes around you
cause up there you might be happy
and you might fall down again
they say its save to life with pain
-
You dont have to die to feel alive
My friend, there is so much to breath for
If you scream me to help you
I'll run
If I scream would you come?
-
If you want to save yourself
You need to do it all alone
to open your eyes and be strong
You can search for instant happiness
You can live thru others hearts
but then are you really living?
-
You dont have to die to feel alive
My friend, there is so much to breath for
If you scream me to help you
I'll will run
If I scream would you come?
Sigh.
maanantai, lokakuu 13, 2003 |
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Cat purring on my lap, outside night is windy and sky is clear. I feel tired, weak cause my head is spinning around and every part of me have been aching since last night when I heard the news. I feel nothing. State of shock perhaps? Just Nothing. Timo, rest in peace. You left us last night 7pm. I heard after ten.
All these little burst of feelings - but no tears. I cannot get 'em out. I just think "Bull shit, this is a joke, it cannot be" .. But why? Why did you do it man? FUCK U!
No no no of course you had a right to do it by yourself, of course...Its selfish for us to whine about that, huh? Or is it? Im pretty sure, that I have right to be angry and walk around in a shape of an questionmark. FUCK IM GOING TO MISS YOU.
Listening music. Audioslave. Last time when we met at Father's wedding you wanted me to sing it all the time.
Nail in my hand / From my creator / You gave me life / Now show me how to live.
When I woke up today the news felt like just bad dream. Slept in few hours clips. But still I felt like it was just a joke. I didnt even believe it at saturday when I heard. "Hahaaha what a joke guys.."
KER�NEN PERRRRRRRRRRKELEeeeeh!!!!!!!!! Haista hanskaa!
Im numb.
News news newsss - nothing really. Got new hats at work. Those mickey mouse hats for ortopedics ... exspecially for those who do operations for kids. Ha.
Spend friday at summer cabin. Saturday at Xmas band rehersals (whole day), in good company. Drove around and back to cabin and heard the news. Grey day - Sunday. Formula1 wasnt really interesting anymore. Later at night we went to Eka's to watch Charlies angels1 for telly and then I came home. Here I am. I feel empty. What should I feel? How should I think? Ttu ett� t�m� on perseest�.
Niin ja ihmeellinen ihottuma ollut perjantai aamusta asti. koko yl�vartalo ihan pieni� pisteit� t�ynn�. Eiv�t ole kutianeet, v�h�n turvonneet punaiseksi v�lill�. Outoa. Taitaa p�hkin� vuosien j�lkeen reagoida taas. Toivottavasti en ole allerginen kisulleni. Ei kutia kyll� yht��n vaikka gisu syliss� even ATM.
Pit�isi kai menn� unille. En tied� saanko unta. "Noo ei se suremalla takaisin tule katoo" ... Vittuako takaisin ket��n yrit�n saada? Helvetti soikoon! Yleens� olen se joka lausahtaa kyynisesti jonkun kuoltua "Semmoista se on.". Olen kylm�, kova ja tunteeton. Sanon vain ett� "Onpa perseest�" joka tarkoittaa suurta tuskaa. Sit� samaa se on nytkin mutta paljon muuta. On ihan eri asia menett�� l�heinen luonnollisesti, sairauden tai onnettomuuden kautta. Omank�den kautta kuollut l�heinen her�tt�� aika paljon ... mit�? Tyhj��?
So kids, keep away from jazz and liquer. No no, in this case - keep away from pills.
En tied� mit� sanoa. Ker�nen perkele. Tuo lause on huulillani. Helvetin paska olla.
maanantai, lokakuu 13, 2003 |
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perjantai, lokakuu 10, 2003
I've been singing this Emiliana Torrini inside my head hela dagen.
it shouldn't hurt me to be free
it's what I really need
to pull myself together
but if it's so good being free
would you mind telling me
why i don't know what to do with myself?
Im tired. Who am I?
perjantai, lokakuu 10, 2003 |
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Oh my my...
First night I slept a bit better than in ages. But when I woke up I noticed scratch on my face made by kitten nails...on my nose and so. Argh. Achy. I spend last night at the phone. First Eric called after long long long long while! He's coming to meet us at Xmas. Then Daddy-O. He got army's phone for weekend and just babled 'til I said I _really_ have to go to sleep. Went to bed, read to 1am and falled asleep. Woke up, sunny day. Friday. On my way to work phone rang and it was Serafina. I've just got message from Senni that she's in hospital again and got sickfree to tuesday and that she is feeling very bad. I know that she and Sera are going to see David Bowie today. Anyway Serafina called me and asked me that Senni is unavailable to come - can I come. I dont have money, I said. "Its not a problem! Car is leaving 16.30 o'clock to Helsinki! Pay me when you can." What the fuck?!! Almost free Bowie tickets!?! Oh oh oh! Drooler maximus. But then of course these things use to be just bubles that are floating around - My boss said me that "No F***ing Way!". So It means that I have to be working to 6-7pm. Sigh.
Its busy day. Fridays are running and chaos in operation room. Always. And now even more than ever in my time in this hospital.
Yo Ho! Gotta go.
perjantai, lokakuu 10, 2003 |
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torstai, lokakuu 09, 2003
I remember year ago at Love&Anarchy filmfestival I saw terrific spanish quite freaky movie "Fausto 5.0" ... I saw a dream which was SO close to it. There is one part in this film where this doctor goes to party (in his dreams?) in old hospital. There was loads of people and suddenly some teenager girlie comes around and they start flirt veeery much. Everything was quite rusty and stuff, hospital I mean. Shitty, broken, old. Coolest. Well - then they found old operation room and made love on the operationtable. Hurray. I saw dream about that scene. Only - it was in our operation room! Eeek. Thank god it was dream. Bwahah. Anyway here's a review of that movie from Bcc online!
torstai, lokakuu 09, 2003 |
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Grey day. Trying to keep mood up and make fun about everything around. Today we got those micky mouse operation caps and its been such a show while few docs are foolin' around. Yea yea. What ever. Slow dumb day. Few hectic moments now and then, but mostly waiting and chilling 'round.
Somebody dont let me sleep at all. Last night I slept like 2-3h or less! He goes purr and want to be close, its cute but those fucking nails! Argh! You should have seen him...
Yesterday was indeed a day! First work, then met Petrus, mum came to pick me and I drove to store and to my place with her. We tried to clean up places, took care of my plants and sat down talking. Then Epa came and we went to drive around. Her car didnt turned on after closing the engine ... so some serious running and pushing around! We had little few hours of adventure! L�hdin vauhdilla, vain avaimet taskussa. Eka pys�hdys piikki�ss� stop merkin kohdalle, tuntemattomat pys�htyiv�t ty�nt�m��n kanssani. Sitten kaarinaan valoihin ja epa ty�nsi kuin ajelin punaisilla keskell� risteyst� ... kakkosta ja kaasua beibe! Seuraavan kerran tyss�hti kuusiston linnanraunioille. T�ysi Kuu, t�hti�, sumu, pimeys, auto jossa ei l�mmityst� (ford '80, kunnon it�saksa malli!) . . . Komeeta oli. Takaisin sitten ajeltiin ja kylm� oli. K�ytiin kupposella kirsikkaa ja Epa ajoi minut kotiin. Nukahdin l�hes v�litt�m�sti p��ni tyynyyn ly�ty� mutta nukahdettuani kissa nousi haliin ja torkuin ep�m��r�isesti loput viisi tuntia y�unistani. Fuck hell.
V�SY!
=_=
Long weekend ahead. Loads of things to do, running around. Glad that sunday is totally free - just for me! Ah ah ah! Lookin' forward that. Hopefully I dont need to come to work in monday ...
torstai, lokakuu 09, 2003 |
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keskiviikko, lokakuu 08, 2003
Iso arska Floridan kuvern��riksi. Gimme a brake!
keskiviikko, lokakuu 08, 2003 |
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Mik� p�iv�h! Ulkona ollut pime�� kuin siell� minne bussit eiv�t kulje ja jonne aurinko ei paista ... En tied� mik� boomi edustajilla on juosta t��ll� kurssittamassa ja lahjomassa meit�. Eilen saimme k�sihuuhteita ja uusia aineita. T�n��n anestesia aineita (palaan t�h�n liittyv�st� lahjomisesta later on!) ja verenpainemittareita (ja oh niin paljon suklaata!) ... N�m� anestesia stydeemit. Dooris toi kauhean l�j�n kirkkaan s�h�k�n sinisi� avain nauhoja jota tuotteen logo koristaa. Ne olivat kahvihuoneen p�yd�ll� somassa pinossa. Havaitsin ne, tuhahdin ja painuin varastoon kirjoittamaan kaavoja tietokantaan ja h�rppim��n kahvia (ja salaa aina v�lill� kirjoittelemaan blogiin tms. mutta yleens� joku potilas tai kollega lipuu aina silloin ohi ja on n�ytett�v� ammattitaitoiselta joten hiplaan kaaviopaperin kulmaa ja n�yt�n pohtivan jotain siihen liittyv�� asiaa hartaasti - samaan aikaan hiiri k�si h�vitt�� explorer-ruudun.) Ei aikaakaan kun menin sitten taas salin puolelle. Aloin nauramaan, en voinut sille mit��n. Se vaan on niin siisti� kun ihmisill� on katu-uskottavat lekurivaatteet ja siin� kirkkaansiniset avainnauhat. Innostus niit� kohtaan oli karua. Kannatetaan. :) En osaa selitt�� sit�, se oli vaan niin hupaisaa. Minun omani on taskussa. Heko.
Sataa. T�n��n pitk�st� aikaa nautin t�ist�ni vaikka oli ihan j�rkytt�v� ty� pysy� hereill�. P��sin aikaisin t�ist�!! Oah. Nyt sityyn miittaan Petrusta ja sitten kotiin siistim��n mestaa. Zimzim!
keskiviikko, lokakuu 08, 2003 |
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I've felt weird hela morning. My head is spinning around and I cannot get myself fully awake - no matter what I do. Its cold rainy autumn weather. Gosh, its hard to leave summer behind.
keskiviikko, lokakuu 08, 2003 |
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tiistai, lokakuu 07, 2003
At work. Slow and boring it is right now. Sitting here at the computer trying to get myself cheered up and put these anestesia boards on system. Had little course about kloril and stuff I use and so on. It was interesting and helpfull, I had a change to burst out all my silly questions and luckyly got very wise answers to 'em. Helpfull indeed it was!
My work partner came to say that we will have last things to do soon. Great - Im too tired to work today ;)) !!
Im having rehersals at 7pm. Before that I'll meet Senni.
I wanna car! I was on my way to bus today at morning and it always comes late (it leaves 8.25 or 9.25am) and now it was 9.20 and it drove by me. Then I just started to hurry to Varissuo where I almost ran in 20mins and picked bus to work. I was late just ten minutes and no-one even noticed it. God, they love me. ;)
Well, got my stuff from Kajaani. Iikka came here at noon and gave 'em to me. Story is that he was working there last week with my Dad and Jari was on his way to post with my package! Iikka was like "Duh we live in same city, I'll deliver that so you'll save your cent from poststamp!" - Yah. Uuh gotta go, wall is calling me.
tiistai, lokakuu 07, 2003 |
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maanantai, lokakuu 06, 2003
Gaah. Boooring! Im waiting for this huge operation to end so I can continue my work. I've put every piece of paper med information online already and cleaned every corner in this place ... boring. Now some coffee and chocolate. I feel extreme tired and hungry. Its getting dark outside. Grey sky.
Im thinking to buy a car. Tuulia's mum bought new one and she's selling her old volvo! Me me me! One sad thing (I try to get a loan) is that Im extreme broke, I dont even possibly have money to buy a buscard in few days. Oh my heavy head.
Should clean home, but I feel lazy! All my big plans about getting myself sappily home to clean it like mad man are turning to "go home - sleep 4eva". My lip is achy 'cause Somebody was nailing it last night. Feeling sore all over cause he started to bully me 4am to half past six am! :P Im sure he didnt think it was bullying, just love, but I need to cut his nails. Really.
I should make a list about things I need to pick up from groserystore today. Im just having cold shivering feeling inside that do I have money in my bank account. I need to get some food and stuff - hungry. Last time I ate was at Senni's place yesterday. Huge meal it was and decious ... but but. Not enough for hela winter!
Im planning to get outta of this country. For week and later on for year or more. What about that? Interesting, huh? I want to do things! Its not this years biz, but soon soon...
Weekend was great. Relaxing!! Friday I went to Senni's, played a bit of this grazy storytelling roleplaying game and had so much fun. Then went to sleep, woke up and we made some delicious tortilla's and stuff and started to play Fulminata. It was loads of fun. I went home to see how's Somebody and then got myself back to city. Then Senni was at Terhi's (old classmate!) homewarming party and I went to quickly to visit there too. Then we came back to Senni's. Sunday we spend with Fulminata and then at afternoon I came back home and spend whole night watching telly. Sunday bloody sunday.
I got some kissanruoho from Serafina and other goodies which make's Somebody go insane! At Saturday Sera came with huge bag of that stuff and now no matter what he's eating - with Kissanruoho it goes down! Ha. Clever bastard.
maanantai, lokakuu 06, 2003 |
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What a great weekend I had. Later on more about it. Now - work. What a haste.
maanantai, lokakuu 06, 2003 |
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torstai, lokakuu 02, 2003
yksin�isyys yksin�isen
joskus siihen hermostun
halki aavikon j�isen r�mmin, kunnes havahdun
kadehdi en niit� jotka luotuja on kaksoisel�m��n
joskus tuntuu etten kunnolla saa eletyksi t�t� yht�k��n
Yea. I've tried to get myself trough to saunalahti customer helpline, but no can do, 30mins elevator music and "please hold, we will help you soon" ... ARGH! I want my phone open asap. I wanna wanna whine whine.
Grey day. Still tired after yesterday. Eyes are sore and legs achy. But good to be back here at operationroom. Anyway...Yeah, weekend is dedicated for Rope.
torstai, lokakuu 02, 2003 |
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They put me at the Kirra last night. What a shift! Tell you more later.
torstai, lokakuu 02, 2003 |
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keskiviikko, lokakuu 01, 2003
Joudun t�n��n h�t�avuksi kirralle (kirurgiselle). Puoli kasiin t�iss� taas ihan tuntemattomassa uudessa ty�ymp�rist�ss� tuntematta ket��n tai mit��n tai mit� tehd� ja ja ja ... argh. No..tuleepa rahaa :P
keskiviikko, lokakuu 01, 2003 |
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I gotta see Dogville. Even these days (he my huge teenage idol crush!) i adore Lars von Trier. These days its healthy. What a day at the work. Then rehersals and came home. Ate, watched telly, played with this goddamn machine and now I think I should jump in to bed.
I have nothing to say...just that...just that Daniil Harms is delicious stuff to read!
All these words are spinning inside my head but when I take pen in my hand - i lose it all. All this megalomanic terrific poetry, why dont you come out from me!
Remember my adorable cat Somebody who was suicidel? First jump out from window. I was quessing he tried to hang himself with his toys ... no no. Owen. He try to kill himself with my owen. He can open it. Gosh I hate teenage angst in cat!
Harms.
Nelj� kuvaa siit� miten ihminen �llistyy kuullessaan yll�tt�en uuden ajatuksen.
KIRJAILIJA Min� olen kirjailija.
LUKIJA Ja minun mielest�ni sin� olet p---a!
(Kirjailija seisoo hetken aikaa j�rkyttyneen� t�st� uudesta ajatuksesta ja kaatuu sitten kuolleena maahan. H�net kannetaan ulos.)
TAITEILIJA Min� olen teiteilija.
TY�L�INEN Ja minun mielest�ni sin� olet p---a!
(Taiteilija valahtaa kalpeaksi kuin lakana, huojuu kuin ruohonkorsi ja kuolee �kki�. H�net kannetaan ulos.)
S�VELT�J� Min� olen s�velt�j�.
VANHA RUBLEV Ja minun mielest�ni sin� olet p---a!
(S�velt�j� vajoaa raskaasti huokaisten kasaan. H�net kannetaan muitta mutkitta ulos.)
KEMISTI Min� olen kemisti.
FYYSIKKO Ja minun mielest�ni sin� olet p---a!
(Kemisti ei sano en�� sanaakaan vaan t�m�ht�� raskaasti lattialle.)
XD
Huokaus. Haluan huutaa tuuleen. Kaikki t�m� t�ss� ROAR AARGH. Graah! V�y! Ihana maailma on keltainen. Niin monta p�iv�� p�kitt�nyt sis�ll� kuumeen kourissa, ett� t�n��n kuin raahautui aamusella harmaaseen koleaan ulkoilmaan odottelemaan bussia - keltaista. oranssia. Mielet�nt�! Muutamassa p�iv�ss�. Se on syssy nyt! Niinp� niin. Fleese on ihanaa ja kissa syliss� ep�mielytt�v�n l�ys�n tuntuinen. Haisee tiskilt�. K�ynyt taas ilman lupaa hukuttamassa p��t�ns� tiskialtaaseen. Jos joku on lukenut Linnunradan k�sikirja liftareille - olisi pit�nyt heti nimet� katti Marviniksi:
"Mit� pit�isi tehd� jos sattuu olemaan maanisdepressiivinen robotti? Ei, �l� viitsi vastata. Min� olen viisikymment�tuhatta kertaa sinua �lykk��mpi, enk� min�k��n tied� vastausta siihen. Min� saan p��ns�ryn, kun yrit�n laskeutua teid�n �lykkyystasollenne."
Kissa makaa syliss� ja n�ytt�� silt�, ett� saan turpaani jos nousen t�st� koneen ��rest� ja tiputan h�net. Well, gotta - Unta tupaan. Huomenna taas tappoaikainen her�tys, en ikin� totu, en en en. Ihana ollut kun ei ole puhelin meuhkannut koko ajan vieress�, mutta toisaalta - monet asiat j��neet kesken, koska puhelin kiinni ja eiv�t tied� lankaa ja sen sellaista. Auch. No eik�h�n ole ihan tarpeeksi aikataulussa hoitaa ne asiat kun joskus ensi vuonna puhelin aukeaa.
Nyt ei tarvitse edes nousta niin tulee tassusta. Fl�p. Katson alas, kissalla toinen silm� auki, milli kielt� huulien v�list� ja ihme asennossa kyyryss� ahtaassa syliss�ni. Kehr��. Ja kamera on ties miss�.
Kaipaan juuri nyt muutamaa yst�v��. Argh teleporttaan itseni Luukkanen-Kilden kanssa vet�� sputnik vodkaa ja oh boy those starts! NYT UNTA.
keskiviikko, lokakuu 01, 2003 |
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