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perjantai, syyskuu 22, 2000
"Pain makes the world seem unreal.When you play the blues,it brings you back to real."
Its beautiful morning. My room is all pink by the sunlight. Im slowly drinking my morning cup of coffee. In few hours Im leaving to Kajaani. Im pretty exited...And tired. I just slept some like 5h. Im still happy after my yesterdays cello lessons! My teacher is great! Imagine: I've played 6years when I was kid, 'til I ended going there. I didnt have my own cello, so I never didnt even tought cello after I give that rent one back. 5 years floated by. I was angry to myself cause I felt that playing was the only thing I really ever could do righty, and every fall I decided to try to get back to study in music school but I didnt have courage. And now, Im in. and my changes were very tiny cause they usually keeps student places open for little kids and In test there were like 5-6 little child and me. It was...strange. 8) But I got myself in! And I feel like miracle woman, cause I've been in lessons like 1month now (3 times with cello) and I play better than even 5 years ago! I've got additude in it, I've got something I didnt have 5 years ago. Music inside me learn its way to come out maybe? ;) Anyway...Yesterday my teacher teached me 7th position witih cello!!! I was like whoat!? Last time she said me that (I know 1-4 positions already, and now in few weeks I've learned myself to play 5-6...but 7th is someting huge...it highest sound you can get from cello and it is really really NOT easy! ) we'll going to start to play with positions later in winter...but now she said that I get bored 8) yeah true...She's great, we have exact same sense of humor etc. She dont even bother if Im late, cause she's usually later than I am! ;) And she play blues and jazz with cello! Coolest! But now...my sister want to come read her email... Laters.
Gosh. I've found some muscles inside my hands today which I've never used before...In cello classes...Im leaving tomorrow. I bought ticket today and left my cello there, they will put it in same train with me. I've backed my stuff. I've made Jouni's pages ready. theyre exactly what he asked for...minimalist, just main things and thought, picture and voila. There it is...Jouni Rytk�nen... Hopefully he's happy. I've been totally busy now. I had hecktic day again and so much happend but Im so tired. I came home at 21 --> something and after it I've been cleaning my room, packing or something like that. Minute ago I left our sofa, cause I noticed that I was watching James Bond movie helf sleeping...It was like 5min clips went away from my movie experience. So...now Im here doing my ready to do to sleep thing. I have super early wake up. Tho my train leaves 9.20am. (6.40 was intercity train, its more expansice and they wont take any cellos there so I have to leave in another train)...Buhuu. Im going to miss my computer. When Im back I'll introduce you all my deary chat-chan friend called Elwood. :) Nighty nite. perjantai, syyskuu 22, 2000 | | | torstai, syyskuu 21, 2000
Im going to bed now. I started to think few movies and first of all the movie called Great Expectations...My sister has it as a book. I started to read it (not yet, Im having it here next to me right now, Im going to bed, I put fire to one big candle and start to float in other land. After I feel too much dizzy I pay my oneway ticket to Dreamland. Good plan, huh? :) Anyway...I have one beautiful quote from the movie. I love it. I love that movie also, It's beautiful, it touched me deeply. It was so fragile but still so powerfull...as this quote too: keskiviikko, syyskuu 20, 2000
Im death tired. I was working tonight. I really enjoy my time in that place...I really do. I love those ppl who visit there, a lot ppl around the world. I met japanese, american, brittish, irish, italian etc etc. ppl today. I do my job mostry in english. Theyre very kind to me when I they pay me and I give them change and Im still a bit slow with my math...and...they just laught warmly and say "oh take you time"..."there's always first day"...and such. Tonight was my second time there and those ppl I saw yesterday and came there writing email to theyre family and friends back there where ever they live, they come straight to talk to me and ask how are you, are there someone in line etc. In hamina theyre building a big cruiser named boat, theres over 1000 ppl building it from all around the world and most of them spend theyre free time in Surf City drinking coffee, chatting with me and writing emails. It's perfect. Just the way I like it.
I got phone call from my job. I have to go work tonight too. Nicey. keskiviikko, syyskuu 20, 2000 | | |
OK, wanna see ppl sleeping? You cant see theyre dreams, but you can see them sleeping. LOL. Really...8) keskiviikko, syyskuu 20, 2000 | | |
I had super perfect exiting day. Im death tired so Im going to find my way to dreamland right now. I tell more at morning...Im happy. Happy happy happy. My personal life is going down, but my mood about everything else just go high...thank you for the music, new job, Larp and great character I got for Influenssa and Kajaani were Im going to go in Friday! *jumping around* mm...I dont remember when I was this tired. Hopefully I see some exiting action dreams...I havent saw any agent dreams in ages...or any anime dreams I use to see all the time 6months ago. They were perfect. I really hope that life could be that colorfull and kawaii chibi than in anime. OOh...I want nature lilac hair and big pink eyes. I want to have magic powers, big cyper GUN and beautiful body (and un-natural sameway...0.5/5 body, 1/5 hair and 3.5/5 legs) and I could kick everyones ass and go everywhere inside my 40m high MECHA! That's my dream. I want to be Misato (or Rei...Thought Misato is just like me...so like me) from NGE! mm...Off now to have some kokkaii dreams! Laters. Bless. keskiviikko, syyskuu 20, 2000 | | | tiistai, syyskuu 19, 2000
Im home again. And Im away soon too. Im going to meet my sister at...16.15 somewhere. I got post today. Very nice. First issue of one poem and literature magazine called "lumooja"...it looks fine and I havent even read it yet...just few stories and it has very good stuff on it. Im happy that I got that magazine home in 4-6 times at year. Im also happy that I know that we have bunch of my favorite fruits, peaches in kitchen. Im happy that I got sms from my stepmother, but Im unhappy that she doesnt answer then I try to call her. Maybe she's out with dog, I suppose. mm Laters. tiistai, syyskuu 19, 2000 | | |
Nighty nite, Dont let the bed bugs bite. tiistai, syyskuu 19, 2000 | | |
Yeah...I got one of my "work" page done...it just need picture, but Im going to get in when they send it to me. But Im quite happy about this now, cause it looks simple, just the way he wanted it to be, and he wrote some stuff he would want me to make and I did everything he asked. put logo and such. maanantai, syyskuu 18, 2000
I still have that terrible headache...It came back when I was in city. I dont really understand why and were it came from? Oh anyway. Tomorrow is nice day! Im going to start my job! Now its just unofficial stuff, 2h per day. I just learn to do everything I need to do, but in november im going to start as a recular worker there! It's super! I love everyone there, so nice ppl. And they teach me everything now, we decide when I come and if anyone want to have day off or something they can call me (before noverber of course...) and I get paid. I dont have anything better to do, so it works for me! Im happy! *jumping around* Yesh. * and she makes a goooaal *
legend of a cowgirl...Imami Coppolas song. I havent heard this one in ages and gotta say I love it...Whohoo...
what a headache.
My back is killing me. I still have that horrible headache and I maybe know why...my neck is gone. Its not really neck anymore, its a place were pain is. Uh. Hate this. I woke up at 9am something. I wonder why my dog didnt woke me up, 'cause she usually do that. I cant see her around, she is sleeping under some bed right now, and hopefully stays there too, cause Im too tired to take her out for a walk right now. Sunny day. Nice. And quite cold. Nice ++! Maybe Im sick person but I enjoy autumn when its cold! Jimi Henrix died 30years ago. So, that's why everyone is partying it right now, radiomafia plays his music and talk about his life. When I die, will there be anyone who remember me and talks about me when I've been under the sand over 30 years? No! God, why Im not brilliant guitarist ;) Tihih...how funny I am. I really do amazed myself sometimes. Anyway...I was telling you something, but my brains forgot it. I didnt have any mail or email today. How sad. I wonder why my sister get's like one - five letter or such everyday. Does she pay for it? And she even dont get bills, just well...stuff. If I get post its always a bill or such. Whehee...tonight Roots night = howling wolfs in radio mafia...my favorite blues show. Mmm...now theyre playing Jimi Henrix angel. I love this song. Smooth...Laters. maanantai, syyskuu 18, 2000 | | |
Ahaha, I must say that I really do enjoy every song that sound like elevator music...Im listening NGE soundtrack 1. and it has this track named 'barefoot in the park' and it sounds like it's from 60's tv shows or...from elevators...and my god how I love this track. It is so smooth that my mind start to fly high always when I hear it.
Im manic depressive person today. Im over top happy and then I am the most angsty little moody bastard. Now Im between of them. And that's why Im planning to rest. So here I go to bed. Maybe this headache leave me when I fall into my private little dreamworld. Bless. maanantai, syyskuu 18, 2000 | | |
Oh shit its inside my head again...I've had headache like this last time about year ago, and back then I use to have 'em all the time, and it was pain in the ass (or head) for me. I really forgot how painfull it is. And I dont even have any proper medicine for this kind of migraines anymore. I use to eat blue cute capsels like food. I really miss those now. :(
oh my now whole sky is full of it...this is huge...from north to east from zenit to...everywhere...god this amaze me. Last time I saw something like this I was little girl. Its green mostly, a lot of orange and red too...wow... maanantai, syyskuu 18, 2000 | | |
THERE*S A HUGE NORTH LIGHTS STORM OUTSIDE!!!!!! I*VE SEEN MANY BUT THIS IS HUGE! HUGE! God how amazing some aurora borealis can be...I was watching James Bond - goldfinger from tv when my mother alert me to balcony! And now my phone keeps ringing all the time, cause my friends watch and observe that same aurora borealis show from all over the country! It's huge! Im living almost in the middle of the city and there light pollution all over me but still this storm is so clear that it's almost hurt my eyes! Those colors! WOAH! I know exactly why Im leaving...This natures beauty keeps me alive... sunnuntai, syyskuu 17, 2000
Oh God how I love Neon Genesis Evangelion soundtrack music...It better than life itself. REALLY! It's huge, it has everything and so much different kind of tunes, something for everyone, something for every mood. My headache is finally gone. It was so horrible that I couldnt move my head and only think I could do was lying in bed my eyes closed. All I heard was humming and I felt my heart beats in my brains...it was horrible. I dont remember when was the last time I had headache like that. I felt so sick that I almost womit. mm granparents came to visit...gotta go play socialgirly. sunnuntai, syyskuu 17, 2000 | | |
I try new look for this weblog...my keyboard is broken...its hard try write when your have to hit hit hit to get some stuff on the screen. sunnuntai, syyskuu 17, 2000 | | |
My god...I have major headache...I cant move...my eyes...argh... sunnuntai, syyskuu 17, 2000 | | |
Now bed to sleep. I watched Bond movie (the second one titled "From Russia with love") and it was nice...after it I just falled sleep in same position in the sofa's corner and I woke up moment ago. Now Im heating to the my own good 'ol bed. See you tomorrow. Bless. sunnuntai, syyskuu 17, 2000 | | |
Everyday is another story to go thought. Im watching James Bond movie. Im tired. Im dreaming about one 1.5l bottle of cold pepsi. Why in earth there are not any 24h stores around here...Im too lazy to walk 8km to city to get one bloody bottle of cola. But...still... sunnuntai, syyskuu 17, 2000 | | | lauantai, syyskuu 16, 2000
I was reading riothero and I find intresting link from his weblog. Geliophobia - Fear of laughter. I must have that. lauantai, syyskuu 16, 2000 | | |
it's all clear outside and freezing. I've done nothing today. Just watched tv with empty face from the sofa's corner. Im still waiting that Bond movie...hour to wait...or less. lauantai, syyskuu 16, 2000 | | |
If your reading this ali, someday, I send you card! Postcard! Hopefully you get it soon! Miss you. lauantai, syyskuu 16, 2000 | | |
Im reading Kurt Vonneget's Slaughterhouse 5...It's best. It's grey day. Im feeling a bit gloomy. lauantai, syyskuu 16, 2000 | | |
Yesterday and last night were great. At night I went to meet my friends in observatory and we had so much fun. I havent laught that much in...weeks. Or months. I was full moon. And one new guy came to see places too and I hope he came to meet us often. He was very nice person. Anyway...It was clear night so we decided to go to Kevola, which is our another observatory in country side of town, away from city's lights and such. It was perfect. I came home at 5am and went straight to bed. It was relaxing night. One quite new person in our group called Petrus (This was second time when I met him, so his quite new to me, but not so quite new to others, cause he was in Cygnus [amateur astronomers summer meeting] and such) were there with us. And I have to say that I dont know him personally but I like him very much. I hope he stay in the group. So many have came in and then disappeard. Im tired. I woke up at 11am when my sister woke me up. Now Im home alone, cause she went to spend weekend with her boyfriend. She like lives there. She just come home to do her school stuff and wash clothes in weekdays and then again go there. Its sad. I dont meet my identical twinsister often anymore. When she's home she's in her room, or sleep or...then we go to city and search some clothes or talk about music. Or fight. ;) But...sad. Well that's life. And Im totally happy for her. She and Tuomas (her boyfriend) had theyre one year day few weeks ago, and theyre still happy together. Its great, cause I dont know many relationships that strong. perjantai, syyskuu 15, 2000
I'll bet that today Im going to be all alone. Well I dont even bet, cause I know. Senni is at her boyfriend all weekend and mum & Pentti are in summer cabin. Alone in the dark. Uuh...I really need to play some Twin Peaks soundtrack right now. perjantai, syyskuu 15, 2000 | | |
Strange. I got mail from one guy who's quite new in Tursa. I've seen him few times. Anyway...It was few lines, but made me quite happy. I've had so terrible week that even mail with one sarcastick line in it can make me very happy person. Its quite ironic...but Im not going to tell why. 8) perjantai, syyskuu 15, 2000 | | |
Last night after walk with my mother (and dog) I watched most amazing indie movie. It was really amazing and it had one of my favorite actress Lili Taylor (she have done many better than life movies like Addiction and Arizona Dreams for example) in it. I dont remember exact name for that movie, but it had taste of life in it. You know that feeling that "GOD why in real world you never get any of days like that, or conversations like that..." and you just watch it and feel your heart beat and feel so alive when its over. Its one of the best movies I've seen in long time. It was in video, my sister recorded it while I was in Kajaani, but I havent had time to watch it until now. It was a lovestory. Kinda. It had strange but well...happy ending. It has some so real characters in it, stuff that you have in everyday life, but you just dont think that theyre anything special, until this you see this movie. ;) "Those words you keep quiectly inside you are usually more important"...its so true. People talk much, but usually those words they keep inside 'em are words you just should go ahead and say. I prefer to be quiet than talk about nonsense or things that doesnt matter much. I hate people who come to me and first thing they tell me is theyre lifestory from born to nowaday. And after that they start to talk about themselfs. Ppl think too much, they talk too much and keep quiet too much. And usually that kind of persons should speak when theyre quiet and thinking, about things they try to console...Blaah. I have little headache.
The day has finally has finally arrived...And its over in few weeks. All you can see from tv is just sport 24h. What a pleasure. :P perjantai, syyskuu 15, 2000 | | |
I woke up moment ago and watched some powerpuff girls from cartoon network. Its freezing outside and doggie wants to go out...SO Im preparing myself to go. Cello lessons today. Joy!
Im listening jazzofrenia from radio mafia...right now someone is playing jazz with cello! And it sounds great...I was in music library today. I was searching some cello notes, Im bored to play all those old songs. I was searching some moody stuff like Bach's siciliana (usually played with violin and organs) or Albino's adagio, but I didnt found 'em...I was too tired to just search cause there was like 600 notebook for cello and computer didnt found exactly anything...but something I found which was very interesting, tho I didnt take it cause I didnt have my librarycard with me. Well the book was from collection called "Jazz improvisation method" part 2. which was named "for cello"! :)) It was perfect for me! It was big book, wrote in english and all notes were writed and printed in recular hand writing...it had so much in it! I have to rent it soon, cause I want to learn everything from it! Perrrfecto!
electric torture game... perjantai, syyskuu 15, 2000 | | | torstai, syyskuu 14, 2000
what is autumn doing creeping out for me? torstai, syyskuu 14, 2000 | | |
I came in from long walk with my mother few minutes ago...Its freezing starry night! Full moon too! It was so beautiful...roads asphalt were glittering and everything was blue. It was magical. Air in autumn...its sparkling...you can feel it when you take deep breath. Only sound you hear is city's quiet humming. It's very dreamlike. Only thing is that you can feel that you are walking and you can see your legs. In dreams you always see yourself floating around, you never see you legs or sense that theyre moving. torstai, syyskuu 14, 2000 | | |
me off to sleep. OK, before I go...you know Im fontfreak...well my friend send me super cool kawaii link! I'll name it to be todays Lotta's hyperlink so surf into:fontomas!! YAY! IM like way too moody to surf in it and download everything...Bless! torstai, syyskuu 14, 2000 | | | keskiviikko, syyskuu 13, 2000
My room is all grey...I should remove my curtains cause there are beautiful sunset and living room is all red cause of it! Im waiting my mother...I want to go to walk. She's at my sisters school right now and Im alone home. Listening Bj�rk's Play Dead:
It started to rain! :)) keskiviikko, syyskuu 13, 2000 | | |
Im listening Bj�rk's Bachelorette and feeling gloomy. My hands are quite tired...I've played cello like a mad one...its best way to get my temper calm down. Im tired. I've cleaned this place all day. Oh...I have to write few emails! There's one very (few actually) nice things going on: I've got two emails were they ask me to make webpages for 'em...kihih...and other is that I met mesmers Kimi today and I got some songs to learn. Very nice. Nice nice nice! :) keskiviikko, syyskuu 13, 2000 | | |
Im hyper tired...off to sleep now. Tomorrow I'll have long busy day again! Bless! :) keskiviikko, syyskuu 13, 2000 | | | tiistai, syyskuu 12, 2000
I just had worst day in this very year were living now. Im happy that tomorrow is another day...hopefully. 8) tiistai, syyskuu 12, 2000 | | |
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im going to kill someone soon. I have so much something inside me that I just want to scream. Everything I try turns in to nothing, everything I chooce to start brake into something..."no money"..."no you cant go there cause you have to find job" well DUH?! What I have tried every fucking minute?! GETTING A JOB! I want to do something...but no...no japanese classes cause if you start 'em you cant take night job if you get one...god damnet...I want to do something else than sit front of this fucking computer 24h...but no...Fer christ sake... tiistai, syyskuu 12, 2000 | | |
My hands are all "sober" and achy cause I played cello like a mad one...I have too much bad energy inside me now and playing some hard fast song is best way to get it out...Yesh! Soonish in tv: Sex in the city and Ally McBeal...Great weather! Sky is all clear! Quess what im going to do tonight! SLEEP!...no just kidding...;) Tho, I have early wake up tomorrow...and some new things start tomorrow, Im exited. I also have to call in few places and search job etc. Busy day! Shame that its so late...after 9pm Im not allowed to play or sign. Well I have to think those little kids and babies that lives next door. Yeah, sure. Oh well, Laters. tiistai, syyskuu 12, 2000 | | |
My morning was awful! I wanted to sleep but I woke up when my dog started to wain (it was horrible noise) and tried to woke me up, my sister were singing in her room with her stereo (volume was horrible) shouting like mad one and in living room tv was on, some news and it has all volume on too...and then phone started to rang. And my sister didnt hear anything cause her stereo had so much volume...I tried to shout "ANSWER GOD DAMMET!" but no...I had horrible headache too...then I woke up and shouted into phone "WHAT?!"...it was mum who wanted to woke me up. Gosh it was horrible. Noise all around me and dog who wanted to go out and didnt let me even make coffee...buhuu. Im happy that now this day seems to be much better...
Blahoo...Im death tired. Off to sleep. Hard day tomorrow. Bless. tiistai, syyskuu 12, 2000 | | |
IM searching pictures from internet...I found few nice one...Its quite late. I have to woke up at 7am...so Im heating to bed soonish. What a day tomorrow will be...running around again. I hate it. tiistai, syyskuu 12, 2000 | | |
Moby just kick ass! tiistai, syyskuu 12, 2000 | | | maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000
Hehehee! Im reading Q mag. There's nice Bj�rk interview...there a quite from it:
Im listening howling wolfs (blues show) from radio mafia...my tradition for mondays...and desining new stuff in to my pages...buhuu. Wanna go to Kajaani soon! I miss everybody so much. And its best time of the year there...trees are all yellow and red...air is glittering and fresh...autumn. When I was walking with my mother I found one all red leaf...autumn is 100% here too soon. Gotta love it. Heheh...someone won tickets for Lahti Blues festifal! :)) Fun thing is that my fathers blues band have a show there! Tihih...funny. Yummy...Im eating my favorite salad right now...feta salad. Yummy!!!!! One thing why I dont wanna ever die...salads! 8) maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
Im watching movie called showgirls with my another eye...I have seen it like 2 times before and it's stupid, but it has one very great and hansom actor in it...same who act Dale Cooper in Twin Peaks...ring the bell? ^_^ Gee...Im bored. maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
Im your pride and joy...dont mind dying lover boy... GOSH...i just love that blues song...it got so much attitude in it that I get sooo happy always when I listen it...Im going out to walk with mother and doggie. Its quite nice weather, windy a bit autumn stormy and glitterin...have to wear some warm clothes on then. Senni came home quite early today, which was nice, I havent seen her since friday. My hands are cold...I've sitted front of this 'puter so long and desinging new layot and desing for my pages! Im going to make it a bit retro like, pictures of twiggy and retro stuff around. Something funny and such :) have to scan new pictures about myself soonish cause I dont have black hair anymore and my pages are full of pictures about me, were I look like finnish japanese chick...its not bad thing, but I want to put pictures were I am what I am now...redhair-chick! :)) Laters! maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
Im listening Towa Tei's Sound Museum...My sister boyfriend burn her few nice cd's! :)) Whales 'all disco dance must end in broken bones' which is very very nicey...Moby's 'play' and chemical brothers news album...which is nice too, but I've listen it so much that right now Im not intressed about it. But this whale kick ass! :)) maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
I "woke" up while ago...Im drinking my morning coffee right now. and Dog keep stearring at me her legs crossed. I should go out with her. Soonish. I need my coffee before I start to do anything...My plans for tomorrow: playing cello. Nothing more. I have nothing else to do right now. I should write letter for my friend, I might do it at evening. Its cloudy day and very windy! I opend my mobilephone minute ago and I got message from few of my friend and both say that I have to wish them some luck...well here it is in finnish:
Im really quite tired. I try to think nice domain name...some of my ideas are taken. Sad. But I'll think something. Btw...I wound new chupachups lollipop...it taste strange...but nice anyway! Im off now. Bless. maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
plaah. Im still awake. maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
Im going to buy own domain someday...maybe in few months when I get more money...I havent decided domain name yet but will see...something with personality and which is easy to remember...something shorter than http://personal.inet.fi/koti/for.kamary/Lore...you know what I mean 8) maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
tihihih...what a joke! maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
Yay...selmasongs (dancerinthedark soundtrack) comes in to stores in few weeks...I gotta get money somewhere and buy it! I can hardly wait! maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
Im listening Scott Walker...Im amazed how his music can be so great. Shame, that he dont do music anymore... maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | |
Im bored. Tomorrow I have to wake up early. That's why I should go to sleep now, but I just dont feel like sleeping. I might start to build some new graphigs into my pages or something like that. It's beautiful night, I even might go into balcony and start to watch something with our little telescope. My friend Janne is alive...he has been very quiet lately but now he do answer to my messages...from time to time. I really miss him. But Im too tired to travel to Helsinki and meet everyone. I just want to be here, make music, sleep, eat, sleep and think. Im too tired to meet everyone in very same weekend. and when I go to helsinki, I always want to meet everyone, cause if I dont do that, someone start to hate me, feels unsure do I like 'em anymore or such. I hate it. I hate when ppl do that for me. "why dont you call me, why dont you come here and never tell me that your in town? dont you wanna meet me anymore?"...of course I want to meet 'em...but...not in same very weekend. I want to give my time for one ppl at one time. It's horrible when you have to be heart open for everyone in very same time. oh well...laters. maanantai, syyskuu 11, 2000 | | | sunnuntai, syyskuu 10, 2000
This F**king blogger system lost like 3. writings I wrote today...testing testing...will this work now? sunnuntai, syyskuu 10, 2000 | | |
I wrote stuff here earlier, but this damn blogger went down and I lost that long part I've wrote. Buhuu. I hate computers sometimes...and I can really say that I have good reason for that, dont ya think? ;) Im listening Jamiroquai right now...Black Capricorn day is perfect song...I love this old funky groove feeling what they still can find and bring for us to hear. Ah...dinner is almost ready...gotta go...Laters. sunnuntai, syyskuu 10, 2000 | | |
I've played cello all day. My hands are all tired, its even hard to write this stuff now. But gosh, I play more better when even 5 years ago! I have that pure joy in it. I just dont play cause I have to. It feels so great. I just could play 24h! I enjoy it so much! Im listen satie now...relaxing piano tune. Well...I watched dawson's creek too. My favorite sunday-show. It's beautiful weather and all I do is sit here inside and looking outside and sighing "what a beautiful weather!"...silly. 8) my step-father is cooking my favorite chicken meal. Im starving so I can hardly wait to get fill my empty tummy. Laters. sunnuntai, syyskuu 10, 2000 | | | lauantai, syyskuu 09, 2000
Im so tiiireeed. Im going to go to sleep right now. you cant stop me. I usually watch tv till 7am in saturdays, but right now...and today...its been so hectick that I really really need some serious dreamstuff. Hopefully I catch some beautiful and smooth dreams tonight. Hopefully. 'bursting bubbles/ your intimate guddles/ in never ending sentimental way of us/ after this I gotta stop'...one think I hate is that some song keep rolling inside my head when Im going to sleep...then I cant sleep cause all I do is hearing that tune inside me...blaah. maybe I have to ask my mother to hit my head with hammer...then all I see is star and I sleep quite well...or if this is cartoon day I could see circle of yellow little birds flying around my head! *titityy* :D Ok ok...this stuff start to sounds sick...Nighty nite! :)) lauantai, syyskuu 09, 2000 | | |
I got great day today! I woke up at 10am and started to play cello. at 14.30 Jukka picked me up and we went to sauvo to make sorb-i-tol songs in his homestudio and it was great fun! I really enjoy my time there a alot. I got a bunch of ideas...most of my singing was plain inspiration burst but well we got something almost ready. not almost...it's quite open what kind of song it will be...but melodies, mood and such are quite done. Im listening it right now. I came home at 21.30 or something. Im tired. I made hot chilli noodles for myself and started to listen music. Tomorrow Im going to (maybe, I havent decided it yet...) go in test-singing for one musical. I heard about it today, I havent study any songs for it or such, but it's at 6pm tomorrow, so if I wake up early I can decide to go or not to go. Dunno. If I dont really have better to do I go...but it will be great joke. Im not going to do it seriously, just see will they take me. It could be fun to have some musical project now. :) I love theather. I love musicals. Thanks to my mum...when I was little we watched every old musical from tv...and we still do that! :) But now...some coffee...I have too much energy now... lauantai, syyskuu 09, 2000 | | | perjantai, syyskuu 08, 2000
It was perfect. I cant talk about it cause it was so huge thing to myself. I think my heart crash soon. It was too much, and too beautiful, too real too touching too much to handle in one piece, but that's why it was more than perfect! It was superious! Now I can die as a happy person! Viva la movies.
OK...today in few little hours Im going to see it all...DITD! I need to take tissues with me. Just in case.
now to sleep. my body is so tired. my hands, fingers and legs ache...I've played and walked a lot today. Gee...I really need sleep. Nighty! Bless. perjantai, syyskuu 08, 2000 | | |
I made sensuality test...quite interesting...result was:
My hands are aching. I've played cello all day! Im so exited! in 1h when I started to play it was horrible, but soon I started to remember everything! And now I even play better than 5 years ago! Really! My hands are more faster and stronger then when I was little and my heart and sould has huge urge to play. I played every song I had learned 5 years ago...and then when I didnt have any songs left I just open my old unused cello book and started to play songs I've never even read thru! It was amazing! Totally totally amazing! I was like "can this be true?" and my mother just stared me her mouth open 8) Im so exited! I have cello lesson tomorrow...I just wonder...where my teacher start to teach me? 8) Tihih... torstai, syyskuu 07, 2000
Yay. I woke up, called to Virpi and then mail came and I got the photos from Virpi's birthday party...there few pictures where's nobody are into! What a little cutie...but those pictures...I havent take 'em in when I was totally sober so they look a bit shaky...and one reason was that Laku was pushing me with his big head ("come to play!") all the time, so I didnt get any time to take good pictures cause that bloody dog was all over me 24h! 8) Gotta go to shower now. Have to run. torstai, syyskuu 07, 2000 | | |
Yay. I put a lot of new programmes into my computer...like Paint Shop Pro 6...I had version 5 and I think they dont have much difference, but who cares! :) Gotta go to sleep now. Early wake up tomorrow. Im hungry, but whole house is sleeping so I cant go and make noice in kitchen now. I just have to see dreams where Im starving. Sounds fun? Yeah...truly. Bless. torstai, syyskuu 07, 2000 | | | keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000
Im reading Hotei's pages again. Maisu walk around the house with 3 foots. She wont use her 4. one. She look so totally hopeless. Im going to get cello tomorrow! I'll borrow one from my friend, and I and she going to meet tomorrow after her school and then I get the instrument! Nicey! keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000 | | |
Twiggy Twiggy! keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000 | | |
Day was nice! We had lot of fun with Eka. She came here at 2pm or something. And when Senni came from school we watched Daria and after it Luc Bessons Jeanne d'Arc! Which was beautiful and breath taking movie. I didnt expect nothing from that movie, but it was more greater than I never could even wait. I just can say: wow. Anyway, after that movie me and Eka went to walk with our dog. We just went slowly around forrest and chatted. Soon I realised that Maisu (our dog) act a bit strange. Just lick her leg all the time. Then I noticed that it was all red. Then I realised that it was blood! I just took her on my arms and runned in (like 500m or something and Maisu is quite heavy little animal)...my leather jacket was all bloody. Im still not quite sure what it was, but we cleaned it and put something to cover it, so Maisu cant lick it. Tomorrow we maybe call to pet doctor. I hate this. :P
Ah, I almost forgot! If anyone have good idea for tattoo, leave message in my guestbook or mail me. I like to see other ideas. Tho, I have quite clear picture inside me head, what it could be, but never say never. Eka called me. She'll be here in 45min. Super.
Im listeing Scott Walker and designin my tattoo...Im going to get in when I go to Kajaani at 22.09...Just 1.5 week left. Nicey. Im going to spend a week there. And when I get back I have cat and tattoo. 8) Why I go? well...first of all...Sari & Raikku's (RH Blues Bands singer and guitarist) party are in 23.09...and then I have week to do everything (mostly in forrest getting a lot of berries, then Im going to sell 'em, get money and buy new mobilephone) meet friends and such. And then in next saturday there are huge jams in the place called Krouvi (every years best event called Rainer's days jams). Everyone is there, every superious musician from Kajaani and around it. RH Blues Band is houseband of course, cause It's Raikku's band...It will be great night. I really really look forward to it. keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000 | | |
Beautiful day and all I do is sitting front of my computer. It's cold FREEZING day. Just the way I like it. I love autumn. Autumn doing creeping out for me...but now it just make me feel better. Thinks change. I quess that this winter will be easy for me. Last three winters have been totally nightmares but now Im open minded and I feel a lot lighter. Gotta start to clean this house before I got visitor...Laters. keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000 | | |
Aah! Ultra Bra's new single is on air in radio! This is best thing they could play now! Im so over top happy now! ^_^ keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000 | | |
I woke up at 10am or something. When I got up from the bed I just put some warm clothes on and went out with doggy who was waiting me legs crossed...after little walk and pee and poo, I got back in. And then phone started to rang! I dont understund why someone want to talk with -me- at daytime? Anyway...aah beautiful song from radio: Gone till november. This makes my heart soft. So beautiful. Music Video for this song is so great...Im going to get cello tomorrow! :))) Kiah!
Im tired. I go to sleep. I want to sleep forever, but I have to wake up early to clear this house, cause Eka will be here at.1-2pm tomorrow. Which is nice. She makes me very happy always. Her company. Were going to watch some hyper super kawaii movies. Bless! keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000 | | |
Im so tired of human beings. Im so tired of being one. Im so tired to carry sadness or someone on my shoulders. Im tired and scared to be someones reason to live or breath. There's so much in life. And...love doenst always win. Romantic or realistic kind of love, theyre both same. And Im romantic person but truly realistic too. Anyway...I think I go and hide under my bed, close the phone and computer and scare the world. keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000 | | |
Im goign to loose it. Every human relationship in my life seems to brake down. keskiviikko, syyskuu 06, 2000 | | | tiistai, syyskuu 05, 2000
Im so sad that I dont even care do I write correct english. My thoughts just run too fast. I hate this. tiistai, syyskuu 05, 2000 | | |
Im so sad. Dooris, Nobody's best kitten pal, my fathers and Virpi's cat left between door and now her foots dont have any senses left. Virpi would have get that kitten home in few weeks. Anyway, Dooris is still sappy, she eats and play as much she can but still her foots wont work. Pet doctor said that "you should get that kitten here tomorrow morning if she wont die when she sleeps"...so if it's still alive tomorrow, Virpi, Yte, Tellu (Y and Tellu owns that huge bunch of kittens and theyre two mothers.) will decided what to do tomorrow. Im heartbroken. Virpi called me when I was in bus going home from the city today. She cried so much and I felt so hopeless! and she called me few minutes ago...she was at Pohjavaara, where Yte and Tellu lives. They just cried. My father said that he was sick and didnt want to come, but I know him so well that he just wanted to be alone and cry. When he came home from work and Virpi told him this sad news, he put movie on and start to stared it all alone. Virpi started to cook and when she went to say that food is ready, Dad was there sneezing with two all wet toiletpaper. My father is most cat-loving man I know. It was his idea to get Dooris. It was big suprise for Virpi and Tellu, they just stared him and were like "are you serious? do you have fever?" When my father saw those kittens first time he was sold. He played with them like few hours, was curious which kitten were mine, which is still free without home and such. :) Im so sad. Tellu think that it's her mistake what happend to Dooris. She didnt want Virpi to come cause she have been crying all day long. I know Tellu, she love every animal in that house (and its just a zoo) so much. She lives for them. She's just a piece of gold. And she must feel so horrible now. I wish I could be there. I feel so hopeless to be here. Virpi told that every kitten try to heal and help Dooris to walk and such. Sweet. She told too that Nobody stood close Dooris all the time and nestle against her. Theyre from different mothers, but theyre best pals...its quite funny, like they knew from the first second that theyre going to live in same house... ;) Oh fuck. I hate death. tiistai, syyskuu 05, 2000 | | |
I took long walk with my mum and came home before sex and the city started. And then I got very suprising phone call from old friend of mine! She will give me a cello for few months or so, she let me test it and such and then if I like it, she'll going to sell it to me! :) Nice. Tho, its 3/4 cello, and I thought to buy 4/4...but let's see how big it is. It's relief to get some cello as a start! :)) We'll going to meet in thursday (we havent seen each others in year or so, it's joy to meet her at last anyway!) and then she gives me that cello! :)) Joy! Anyway...My friend Eka is coming here tomorrow...were going to have movie marathon day here again...my sister is in movies right now, watching X-men with her boyfriend. Duh. Im bored. tiistai, syyskuu 05, 2000 | | |
I really hate internet. My ftp doesnt work! I try so hard to put Tursa's page online but no....Fuck internet. Im going to take walk now and shoot someone in forrest. tiistai, syyskuu 05, 2000 | | |
Im off to sleep. I need to woke up like in 4 hours and Im death tired. tiistai, syyskuu 05, 2000 | | |
Oh no...I downloaded like 10 new fonts again. Bad habit or something? tiistai, syyskuu 05, 2000 | | |
I havent update my site in months but now I did it! I even put new side of me online...it's chainletter I got in early summer. I think is quite neat so you all can read my answers. Im going to make that site look better, but this was just plain text version, maybe I leave it that way, Im so lazy. I also put new colors in d-side of me too...Im quite happy now. This wasnt just a one another idle day. I really did something 8) Pathetic, huh? ;) maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000
my phone is all quiet. I hate when I want to get thouch with my friends they never answer to my messages. really really annoying. maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000 | | |
Im bored. Im listening Radio Mafia...now Tutti Frutti rock 'n roll show is on...quite happy music...but I have to wait til 23.00 when my favorite show starts...called "ulvovat sudet" (howling wolf)...Now country spaghetti started...one hour to wait...blaah. maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000 | | |
I think that this result was strange. It didnt has any point or stuff I am. But It was fun to do, try even! Silly questions! :)) maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000 | | |
Tihih. I made one stupid test again, cause I was truly bored. personality test. very fun one. And this was my result:
I feel so good after that walk. I saw most beautiful evening sky! It was something spectacular! I just stared it and felt so tiny. And soon after that all clouds floated away, so maybe tonight I could test our little telescope! I havent been able to stop and spend time with night sky in weeks...maybe tonight is perfect night for that...hopefully. some serious observing. maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000 | | |
Im sad that I havent been able to irc in weeks. I really miss everyone in best place of whole internet -> #tolkien! maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000 | | |
Duh. I ate like a grazy person and Im all full. I can hardly move. Im still a bit sick, but mostly Im ok. My sister and I were shopping at city today...I didnt found anything really interesting, just one perfect skirt but I didnt have money so... :( And one black suit. But it was totally expensive, tho I really need one and I looked like female business woman or blues brother with it. Coolest. I havent found good blazer and trouses system never and this one was like made for me. Im so petite person that found a suit it's quite hard. Always have to make some changes to clothes. But it was perfect. I want to wear black suit when mother get married. 8) It's just something what fits for my style. Tihih. My sister almost tried everything on in H&M...I just found that suit. Well...that was that. It's cold day!! autumn is here! Wee!
Get rich for FREE! Yeah, right...
Nighty nite now. I really need to sleep, tho I dont feel like it. Maybe I just read some Harry Potter first and then try to catch some sleep. Tho, I know that I've I open that book I'll read all night and start to sleep when my sister and mother woke up to get in work and school. Well, what can ya do about that...its my life ^_^ Blessss! maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000 | | |
Im so hungry! Im just too lazy to cook. I still feel a bit ill.
Should I stay or should I go? Clash. Tihih. Maybe I should but my head on sweet soft pillow and wonder in dreamland, but I see so strange dreams, sometimes I just dont know is it real or just some stupid dream. Very odd. Few nights ago in my dream I was in Helsinki all drunk walking around the city all alone, like searching my friends or something. My steps staggerd and I cried and shout them with names like "where are you?" "help me" and such. And then I saw one of my dearest friend behind one window, he was looking at me, with vacant face and silent eyes...just stared at me like nothing. His eyes were so cold. And I was like "Please, come here!!" and he just turned his back and put curtains between us. It was horrible. It was like 'were are my friends when I need them most' and there was one but he didnt just care. It was horrible. maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000 | | |
One of my favorite song from Massive Attack...Dissolved Girl
It's great to find cool font site...all fonts made by grrls :)) what ever about that but from there you can find your way in very good other sites too...so search. Eek. Now offline for sec. I dont want to lose all my money in internet bill in this month again. maanantai, syyskuu 04, 2000 | | |
Im listening Massive Attack and drinking ice cold beer. Everyone sleeps and Im sleepless as always at this time at night. Almost always...Anyway! Im surfing and downloading bunch of fonts again...I have over 250 fonts and I never stop to get new ones...Im like addicted to cool fonts. Im like "yeah this is cool one, I know Im going to use this one somewhere someday!" and then it's in my computer. Duh. I should get rid of from this kind of silly addictions...they make my computer sick..."oh you fool 'puter, you ate too many fonts tonight...tsk, tsk.." sunnuntai, syyskuu 03, 2000
My fathers girlfriend is totally into oldsmobiles. I promised that when Im totally old, rich ;) and such I'll buy her one working black cool car. Now when she had her 30 year birthdays few weeks ago I bought her little toy car! (it wasnt oldsmobile tho, I didnt found any. but it was black thunderbird 1957 if I remember it righty...) I write in the box where it was: "something to wait for...now little one, maybe next time you get one where you can sit into"...or something like that. Anyway! She loved that little car. It's a practical "joke" now, that I'll get her car someday. I give her always something to put into that car like teddy dices or such...you know that I mean. But I always keep my promises! Im that kind of stupid human, even when I say something as a joke...maybe someday she'll get her car! :)
Tori Amos just kick ass. So beautiful music. No one answer to my sms today. What a lamers ;) But it's quite boring when you just want to hear something about someone. Now Im just listening silence and looking blue and yellow sky. When there's place to fall into, human with warm embrace and music which never ends...beats which keep bouncing around my body...thrill...I hear wind. It's a bit stormy outside. I dont have fever anymore but still I need to wear this wolly sweather cause I feel so cold. sunnuntai, syyskuu 03, 2000 | | |
people are like crayons, it's not what color they are, it's the picture they make... sunnuntai, syyskuu 03, 2000 | | |
Hey mister DJ...Madonna's music keep rolling inside my head all over again. Duh. I try to heal myself with coffee and blues music, but seems that this fever doesnt want to leave my body yet. What a fool. It's rainy. Autumn is here. And Im so happy about it, my favorite time of the year. I can hardly wait to go to Kajaani in three weeks and spend best time of fall there. John Mayall's John Lee Boogie is great song. I really always get smile on my face when I listen it.
God what a headache. I cant move my head or eyes cause it hurts so much. My sister came home at 8am or something...I didnt know that cause I was fully asleep by then. Tho, I woke up from sofa at 7am, and then I change sleeping place and went in to bed. I dont remember when I falled asleep...maybe it was after when I did some tea for myself....anyway...horrible day. I hate fever. sunnuntai, syyskuu 03, 2000 | | |
I think I go to sleep soon, to heal myself. I've lost my voice. I hate it. Anyway...tired I am, I just make a cup of honey tea and then I travel thru the dreamy land...Bless. sunnuntai, syyskuu 03, 2000 | | |
My sister called be...she's going to stay a night in Helsinki, tho she said she dont wanna spend any nights in byr�...Anyway...theyre going to one out door rave party, I think it's nice, but Im a bit worried that how she's going to get home, and cause it's cold at nights hopefully she dont catch a flue or something when she dance under night sky. Im happy that I get more own time...well...python marathon is going on again...Laters. sunnuntai, syyskuu 03, 2000 | | | lauantai, syyskuu 02, 2000
Im watching Monty Python marathon from TVTV...theyre show all episodes from season 3. tonight. Marathon started at 3pm today and 'till midnight! Whee... lauantai, syyskuu 02, 2000 | | |
Im addicted to Harry Potter. lauantai, syyskuu 02, 2000 | | |
oh god I feel bad...Im having flue, every bones in my body ache. and I lost my voice. I have some fever 38 degrees or something like that...what a feeling. I've been sleeping all day. I cant go to sing tomorrow even. DAMN. I hate this. I really do. lauantai, syyskuu 02, 2000 | | | perjantai, syyskuu 01, 2000
Kiah! My very first cello lesson was perfect! I tell about that later at nighty! Im going to observatory tonight to meet all those grazy ppl I havent seen in months. I've been out of town so much! My day was perfect! Im going to buy own cello! It will be totally expensive and I dont know how Im going to live cause all my money will go to it, BUT I dont really care! :)) Whee...Anyway. Im listening The Kinks song called you really got me...ah gotta love this old old rock tune. Laters! perjantai, syyskuu 01, 2000 | | | | |
maanantai, syyskuu 18, 2000 |
